Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'wife'.
-
I found this add while looking around for a bike for the wife. The first gen is a bit tall for her. Shes 5'3''. This is not my bike, just thought I'd share my find. http://www.lejeuneyardsales.com/item17832896.html?itemId=17832896&src=SEARCH -
ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. · My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. · The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. · My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. · My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. · I had no control over the drooling. · Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. · I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return! PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!! :bang head:
-
But yesterday after leaving the hospital and arriving at work I was confronted with some very bad news. A young truck mechanic I worked with went home early wed. Because he was feeling very ill. Thursday morning his young wife called in and informed our employer that doctors had to remove Nathan's left leg above the knee. The right arm and right leg were also effected, and a lot of tissue was removed, do to flesh eating disease. On top of that he almost died on the operating table. Nathan is one of those rare people who is always helpful and never has a bad thing to say about anyone. He has two very young preschool children and a wonderful wife. I truly would love to see the same shared prayers sent for this young man as was shown for my father and others in need of them.
-
Slow day today and was going through some of my older files and came across this. Thought you might enjoy. Last May, my wife and I took a trip to Florida. My boss wanted me to keep in touch, so this is the result. Enjoy, I hope this works.
-
I was going to forward this to some of my friends on my email contact list, then it dawned on me.......... I know of another group this is more fitting for......... Here goes.. A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, Just how serious is my condition Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'.' *********************** An older gentleman was On the operating table Awaiting surgery And he insisted that his son, A renowned surgeon, Perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, He asked to speak to his son 'Yes, Dad, what is it? ' 'Don't be nervous, son; Do your best And just remember, If it doesn't go well, If something happens to me, Your mother Is going to come and Live with you and your wife....' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (I LOVE IT!) Aging: Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age And start bragging about it.. --------------------------------- The older we get, The fewer things Seem worth waiting in line for. --------------------------------- Some people Try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way And some of the roads weren't paved. ******************** When you are dissatisfied And would like to go back to youth, Think of Algebra. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ------------------------------- One of the many things No one tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change From being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, But being old is comfortable. First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when You forget to pull it down. --------------------------------- Long ago When men cursed And beat the ground with sticks, It was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two guys one old one young Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart When they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, And I guess I wasn't paying attention To where I was going. The young guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...' I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate' The old guy says, 'Well, Maybe I can help you find her.. What does she look like?' ' The young guy says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, With red hair, Green eyes, is buxom, wearing no bra, Long legs, And is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?' To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours.'
-
To my wife any way, we picked up a ride for the wife tonite XLH1200 20k miles and couldn't have dreamed a better deal -- $3000 done and home. all it needs is fowards (after the Royal Star getting on a sportser feels sort of like a scooter) and more light up front. The wife is a novice so she'll be taking the beginners course first week next month wish her luck!
-
Hello Anyone,Everyone, Etc.... Whoooo Hooooo!!! I am planning a " Bike & Hike " to the Florida Caverns in Marrianna Florida. November 6th. They have some Hiking Trails on the property which I am planning on Hiking, as well as the 35-40 minute tour underGround. I will be taking US-90 west all the way. It is actually a nice ride, and will pick a different route for the return trip. Probably leave my house in Bryceville at 7:15 am ( If I can get my Night Owl wife outta bed ) meeting my friend ( Rodney C. also rides a 09' Venture) in McClenney Florida at the gas station next to Hardee's, on Hwy 121 @ 7:45 am . The cost to get in, I think is donation but you can check online if interested. Would like to be on the road by 8:15 am. It is about 4.0 hours to the Caverns. Get lunch somewhere on the way, Hang out on-site til 3-4:00 pm 'ish, Then head for home, everyone is always welcome to do as you please as far as schedule and your own departure time and route. I like long days, Sometimes I don't know when to go Home. I carry a Backpack with water/Gatoraid, hiking stick, for the wife & I, and wear Hiking boots so I am Comfy on the hike. If interested let me know, if you would like a cell # to contact me. Thanks Tom E. aka Vern
-
I have always thought Randy Quaid was a little out there, but loved the parts he played in the movies like cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation and a couple others, but what the heck is wrong with him now? Is it too much drugs and alcohol or just a need for attention. Here is an article today where Randy and his wife were arrested in Vancouver for some charges in California for breaking and entering and now they are asking Canada for asylum? Weird! http://www.leaderpost.com/business/Randy+Quaid+seeks+Canadian+asylum/3713231/story.html Brian
-
PENSION SEX Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?' 'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.' 'Pensionsex?' 'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!' LOUD SEX A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, He lets out this ear splitting yell.' 'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.' 'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!' QUIET SEX Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, 'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?' She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!' CONFOUNDED SEX A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small, $6,500 for 'medium, and $14,000 for 'large.' The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. 'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor. 'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.' WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.' 'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' ' WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, 'This will make you happy tonight.' He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. ELDERLY SEX One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, 'Yes, your honour. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex... He could also fly.'
-
my wife & i were coming home from a beautiful ride on the Blue Ridge last Saturday. after we stopped for a late lunch, my wife wanted to go into one of her favorite department stores.....as i waited outside a man and his wife stopped to talk to me about my RSTD.....said he used to own a '97 TD and what a great bike it was..... he said i could get a set of 'front' turn signals from an '04 and earlier RSTD and mount them on the rear in place of the original turn signals...which would provide a running light as well as a turn signal .....he said the older fronts lights had an 1157 bulb and that i would need to tap into the red wire to make the running light portion work...has anyone done this mod??
-
The last time my wife rode was about 27 years ago. I recently purchased an 89 VR. The one thing my wife dreads is the helmet hair. She has shoulder length hair and she kinda of rolls her hair into a ball then puts the helmet on. My questions is, in 27 years, has there been any new hair tricks for women who hates Helmet hair.
-
Well, I did it. Took momma's car in for service and while I was there I walked across the street to a Kaw/Honda/KTM/Triumph dealer to look at the new Thunderbird. (It's not too bad by the way). Anyway, long story short a shiny new Titanium Goldwind caught my eye. I was just looking at it for a minute and the salesman comes up and starts talking, shortly thereafter I'm on a test ride on the GW demo. Went back the next day with the wife to let her try it on and wound up riding my shiny new Wing home. I really enjoyed my Venture, but I was absolutely "shocked" at the difference between it and the wing. In all fairness, the last wing I rode was a 1200 back in the day, but gee, what a ride this new puppy is! All the weight's down low, torque out the wazoo and handling that reminds me of my old FJR. I LOVE it. Wife and I are leaving Sunday for the Blue Ridge parkway on the Wing!! I can't wait!!
-
Yesterday wife and I were out fooling around and stopped at a shop that handled both Yamaha and Can Am. Well, there sat this black RT (tourer) fully loaded. Just for grins and giggles we took it for a test ride. While I have to admit it's pretty cool not having to worry about holding up a 900 lb bike when at a stop light, I found the steering to be "loose". It was VERY sensitive (guy at the dealership says it takes a while to get used to it?) Wife reports the pillion is comfortable (though NOT as good as our RSV) but that it felt like it was shifting from side to side while we were riding. (not sure if that was just me fooling with the bars to get a feel for it or ??) Anyway, pretty nice machine but just a touch on the weird side. Anybody else ridden one? If so, what did you think of the steering/handling? I don't "think" I'd get used to the handling very quickly.....Also, having no hand brake lever on the right grip seems a little strange.. Must be getting a little "oldfarty":backinmyday:
-
Hi all. I value your input and would like to present you with my current situation and see what you all think. My wife and I were out riding yesterday and happened upon a Victory MC dealer. We went in to look around and found sitting there a used 2008 RS Venture. Grey color 6000 miles. 9500 bucks. They would only offer me 2500 for my 1996 RSTC. It's in good condition but does show some signs of age in the chrome. It has 32K on it. The Venture doesn't have passing lamps or .... for some reason it doesn't have the fuel tank emblems on the sides. Maybe the owner didn't like them. It sure doesn't look like it was down or anything. We took it for a ride, and if we had to find anything we didn't like I'd say my foot got pretty warm and my wife says the handles to hold on the sides of the seat rested on her butt. (It ain't that big either) Well, neither one of us have to rush to the burger store to prevent starving to death. Anyway, how do these prices seem? Is there any place to shop for emblems and passing lamps where they don't rape you? thanks.
-
On a spur of the moment ride; The wife and I met BigBoyinMS and his wife this morning and we rode to Hattiesburg, MS (about 90 miles). His wife wanted to do some shopping at a discount outlet. I told him he was wise to bring her on the bike. We had lunch and rode home. Highway patrol was everywhere!!! Darn it, forgot the camera , but did take one, not so good, picture with the cell phone.
-
Went for a ride with some friends up to Geneva on the Lake over the weekend. My one buddy couldn't go (working) but his wife asked to join us. She wanted to ride the Harley 1200 Sportster (Nightster?) that she recently bought. A great time was had by all, and on the way home, I happened to be in the lead, with her next in line, just pulling away from a stop sign with a straigt_away ahead when I hear her stomp on it. I'm pretty quick on the draw, and did the same thing. I don't suppose I have to tell anyone here how it turned out, but it gave me a great feeling putting that Harley in it's place. She, alone, 120 pounds soakin' wet,.... me, with the wife on the back, 350 pounds between us, plus all three compartments loaded with a duffel strapped to the back. Well, lets just say we ran it up to about 85 before letting off, (wife yelling at me the whole time) and the Harley was further behind than when we started, buddies wife looking astonished. Next stop she said "that thing's a beast". (87 Standard) I believe she's correct. I love it.
-
I hadn't seen this guy since high school, but the thing that got to me was that he was exactly where I would have been on my way home at about exactly the same time, if I hadn't taken a detour to the local Harley shop. I knew him when we were kids, and he came to the house to look at a bike we had for sale a couple of years ago. I was at work at the time, but my wife talked to him and let him ride the bike. The road he was on is always slow moving due to traffic. Especially at that time of day. It can happen any time. Be careful out there. It was a red Harley, and my wife got a couple of calls from her daughter and a friend asking if she had talked to me that evening (Tuesday) so she called me to make sure it wasn't me. http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=131720&odyssey=mod_mostread
-
Anybody been there? Wife and I are going to Milwaukee in about 10 days. Thought about going to the HD museum.
-
Seen an 08 RSV in Wauseon,OH tonight that I haven't seen in the area before. Couldn't turn around, but later I seen the same bike in Fayette and was able to turn around and low and behold he was already a member here. Only able to talk with Jerry and his wife for a short time because they had to be somewhere. Jerry--it was nice meeting you and we will have to get together like we talked.
-
Well it looks like my first trip to Sturgis is a GO! Since my wife doesnt ride, I figured it is my duty to be an obediant husband and ASK for permission to go. Since I have all my work done she has given me the go ahead. Imagine that, 44 years old, around motorcycles most of my life, and LIVE in South Dakota, and it is my first trip out to Sturgis. Even though I live in SD it will still be a 4 1/2 hr drive. Have the trailer packed and ready, but it looks like monday before i head out. CANT WAIT!!!!
-
There were three motorcycle fatalities in Branch County/Coldwater on Sunday. A man and wife, both aged 45, were killed when an 18 year old girl allegedly distracted by a cell phone pulled in front of them a few miles north of our home. A husband and wife riding a trike struck a deer and the husband was thrown from the vehicle and killed with his wife suffering significant injuries. There was a third accident also involving a deer/motorcyclist on Sunday with the rider surviving. Southern lower Michigan has an overabundance of deer to say the least. There are few days, if any, without and accident report involving a deer/motorized vehicle collision. For those of us who ride, the presence of deer and their unpredictable movements at any time of day or night is always on our mind. Bill
-
Rode the Beartooth yesterday with wife on back and two Terriers in my modified Unigo trailer. What a great ride, was so much fun I rode it again in the opposite direction today. Being from the east I thought the Blue ridge and Deals gap were neat but you just have to ride the Beartooth. The bike ran a little rich above 9000 feet but there was never any power issue. When I rode it today i left wife and the mutts back at the RV and used some of the extra rubber on the sides of my tires. Unlike Deals gap, one can ride as foolishly as one wishes, remembering that your first error will likely be your last. It's a great ride and suggest that anyone who hasn't done it but it on there Bucket list
-
We spent the day riding through the Black Hills area. We started out by riding through Custer State park. We had a great time there and saw huge buffalo herds. The were blocking the road at one point and we had to weave in and out of them standing on the roadway. A rather daunting task with a big bull standing 5 feet from you as you went by. We also encountered the wild (if you call them that) burros and had a great time feeding them apples. My wife remembered them from the last time through the park and this time she was prepared. She's been collecting apples off of the breakfast bars for the last few days. In addition we saw a few antelope. From there we went back by Mt. Rushmore and then rode up to Sturgis to get a t-shirt and to say we'd been there and then returned to Hill City via Spearfish Canyon. That's a nice ride. We drop my wife at the Rapid City airport on our way out of the area in the morning and then we break for home. Should be there by Sunday. Photos are posted at: www.traynorphoto.com/day12 SPOT Track: http://spotwalla.com/tripViewer.php?id=6473 It's been a great 2 weeks. Dennis
-
I'm looking for a compact but comprehensive first aid kit for the Venture. I have one that's just to large 12"X 10"X 3". When my wife and I travel together that kit take up to much room. So what does everyone else have?
-
I just ordered a Harbor Freight flatbed trailer a few days ago. I stopped by a few local dealers that sell trailers etc. Neither had anything i could use along the motorcycle line. Anyway the wife was less than enthused that I started in on the trailer thing in the first place. (she doesnt ride). Anyway one of the dealers just found a used flat trailer that was pulled behind a wing i guess. So the wife will be less than impressed that i bought another trailer. But it was only 35 bucks, and it is titled. Cant go wrong with this deal, so it looks like im gonna have 2 trailers. Guess I will have a smaller and a bigger trailer. This trailer has 8 inch tires which appear to be in good condition, and bearing buddies to boot. The harbor freight trailer is 12 inch tires. so a bigger box may be in order for that one.
.thumb.jpg.88595a2f3126c744eac5d90bdfa2a3f4.jpg)
