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Showing results for tags 'beer'.
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Oil Change instructions for Women: 1. Pull up to GM Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change. 2. Drink a cup of coffee. 3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change:$24.00 Coffee: Complementary TOTAL: $24.00 Oil Change instructions for Men: 1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,and use your debit card for $50.00. 2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home. 3. Open a beer and drink it. 4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7. Place drain pan under engine. 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 9. Give up and use crescent wrench. 10. Unscrew drain plug. 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss. 12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13. Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. 15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off. 16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer. 17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 19. Remember drain plug from step 11. 20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 21. Drink beer. 22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill. 23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer. 24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame. 25. Begin cussing fit. 26. Throw stupid crescent wrench. 27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent. 28. Beer. 29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow. 30. Beer. 31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 32. Beer. 33. Lower truck from jack stands. 34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps. 35. Beer. 36. Test drive truck. 37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 38. truck gets impounded. 39. Call loving wife, make bail. 40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard. Money spent: Parts: $50.00 DUI: $2,500.00 Impound fee: $75.00 Bail: $1,500.00 Beer: $20.00 TOTAL: $4,145.00 But you know the job was done right! -
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1240/966464986_1073161005_m.jpg Hey Gene, I saw this place somewhere along I 30 in Texas today and I thought of you.
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Beer 30 caught on video at home just tryin to help ya out lill buddy:banana:
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Three old Venture Members are out walking. Freebird says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Squidly says, 'No, it's Thursday!' E-Fishin-C says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
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Man sitting at home on the veranda with his wife and he says, "I love you." She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer."
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Now, something to class up this website a notch! THIS IS TRULY A BEER BOTTLE BAND--IT WILL SURPRISE YOU. Ya gotta hear this beer bottle band!!! [ame= ] [/ame] Mike G in SC
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*WHAT A REAL WOMAN DOES* A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . . http://venturerider.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=52464&d=1291539404 No wait... Sorry... I'm thinking of beer. That's what beer does... Never mind.
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98% OF CANADIANS SAY "OH ****" BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM NEWFOUNDLAND AND THEY SAY, "HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS."
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Redneck word of the day : "OBAMA" . . . . I BOUGHT ME A CASE OF BEER AND DRANK IT OBAMA SELF:rotf:
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There's a rule in their household doesnt matter who, The keys get locked up after one beer Well it got more than one beer....when you never have been in a OCTBERFEST..what a party -
I ride a great deal with groups (mixed bikes) with Coast Riders. I have noticed several riders who will have a beer (just one) at lunch time. There are a couple who will have more than one. I am thinking of suggesting that the Club adopt a strict "No alcohol while riding" policy. I am certainly not against drinking in the afternoon/evening when finished riding for the day. Also, I know we are all adults, and should be able to decide for ourselves whether or not a single beer would affect riding judgment. My concern is that somebody might drink more than they should. A pint of a stronger beer, is quite different from a can of American beer (sorry, couldn't resist). Also to be considered is the health, age, body size and several other factors that would affect the way a rider reacts to that "one drink". People can make their own decisions if they are riding on their own. But it seems to me that there is a greater risk when riding at some speed in a group, and when there is only one second between you and two other bikes. Yes, staggered formation... but that stagger doesn't make much difference when something happens quickly. Any of you belong to a Club with such a policy? Any thoughts or suggestions? Cheers!
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Well I was the last to leave (on a bike) with Black Owl come up behind. Left a little after 1:00 and got home at 6:00 ran in to rain in Little Falls and tried to out run it all the way home. Got to North branch and the sky's let loose. It was great seeing everyone again and Big Bob for the first time. I guess the pork was good I was a liitle indisposed that whole day. Long story $hitty outcome. Mr Rooster made it one more year due to some friendly persuasive pleas from someone holding a shotgun. Maybe next year will his undoing. Great time was had by all. Rick sure liked that special beer beer he bought here in the states. and only 64 calories. OH YA what happen at PIP stays at PIP. Lets just say he was thirsty when he left back home. Thanks for the Grampa/ma Gak and Black Owl for pulling off a great 5th anniversary PIP. And the chef, Chris for cooking the guest of honor to perfection. Ya all chime in when you get home so we know you made it safe. Bubber
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this happened to oldgoat today rub it in on him. today he went outside to tighten some things down on the bike. he went looking for a screw he knew was in the trunk? when he got a sharp pain in his thigh.yep found the screw was in his pocket. while putting in the screw his cell phone rang. so he put the screwdriver in his front pocket and rippppppppp put a hole in his pocket change fell to the ground. he bent over to pick it up ripppppppppppppp he felt a nice wind and pepole could see his butt . said the heck with it time to pour a cold one down. well he went to the fridge to find his beer and other refreshments where warm? seems he left the extension cord outside last night and we got a late night shower. so it blew the fuse to the fridge. so he fixed the fuse. drank a warm beer. placed the rest of the beer and soda in the freezer of the fridge. i didnt say nothing. he then drank a warm beer. sat down and feel asleep for about 2 hours.. got up and went for a beer and opened the freezer and boom he now has beer popsickles all over the freezer.
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I'm gonna be a Dad! We're Pregnant!
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Took wife down to river to fish on bike. First off the road leading down to parking area had deep ruts and washout area that would've love to have grabbed my tires, anybody who has lived near a state park knows what I mean. We finagal (sp) our way down to the lot and it looks pretty good for having been flooded a week or so ago so I start to position bike with trailer (had to carry poles, tackle box, cooler etc...) in a position that would be easy to pull right out. lo and behold rear tire drops down 3 inches. Now I mean like right now. Heck, wife stands all of 5'3" and she was flat footed while I appraised the problem and she held up the bike. Appears the sand on top was dry but underneath was like quicksand. It buried my 800 lb plus bike in a second. Detached the trailer to reduce weight on the rear axel and it was'nt gonna move. Luckily 2 guys showed up looking for a beer I think and pulled me backwards out of the mess. If they hadn't came along I wouldve been there till the sand dried or son-in-law came to get us. I've riden dirt bikes many times and pulled them out but none were as bad as this oversized paper weight. And that was my day. Oh yea, then the wife beat me catching fish. I think I need more beer. God Bless. mike
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Ron is a rebater. If that is a word. He finds these rebate offers on different brands of beers. Last night,he found that his rebate on Bud Lite Lime was dated June 30. On most of these rebates you have to buy another item. This one was buy $10.00 worth of chicken and the beer and then you get the rebate money. Ok, so we buy $30.00 worth of chicken because he is rebating for our children too. and two cases of beer. We put this all in the bike. Next he finds out we need to buy 5 other cases of beer for another rebate offer. So we take the bike. Two cases in the trunk, one in each saddlebag and I carried the fifth one. What's the most you have ever carried on your bikes? Oh I forgot to mention, I had two brake lines in my hands from my son in laws'truck, and a large hostas that my daughter wanted me to plant at our house. People were staring, but so what. Yama Mama
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This had to have its own Thread!!! [ATTACH]46640[/ATTACH] Ian
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The 1st Gen rear luggage bag can carry a case of beer (24 bottles)while the 2nd Gen cant
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my RSV was scratched after a slide on a 20% slope previous season. So the idea was to get it repainted during the winter. Not! Was it lazyness, the cold, other things to do? Whatever I started the job only a week ago. Choosed not to ride that much this year, and seek my fun on repainting, polishing, add accessoires, checkups, etc. Nice and easy, on a warm day with a beer from time to time, walking the dog, doing a bit of gardening. Looks like I'm getting old you think? I don't think so, just a matter of prioritizing and enjoying whatever I do. here you can find some pics. I will add new ones every now and then. Enjoy.
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I cut myself and bleed like a stuck hog almost ever time I shave.I been using a Gillette Mach 3 system for years with no problem. It must be old age and poor eyesight. Have they made any improvements with those electric shavers? Or should I go looking like BEER 30? :think:
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I resently has a crash and I've been able to replace the parts but I've been having some issues with allignment. I need to be able to see a Venture to compare the alignment and I also need some help with some bending. Is there anyone near the Buford area that would be able to help out? I'll buy the beer.
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I dont know if the States has this but up here we have Bud Light with Lime I think Budweiser is trying to make a Corona Beer :rotfl:
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...in the middle of a cold snap with the bike sitting in the living room it may be difficult to be proud of the country you live in...so I thought I'd post this a-political list in an attempt to cheer up my comrades...(actually, Charlie sent it to me because he was too chicken to post it) CANADIAN.... Eh ! http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3dd43ea745-a908-4339-b48e-ade9feba9af0.gif%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvZ2lm%26name%3daW1hZ2UuZ2lm%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a1.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d6c1810db-27c0-4590-82e0-68a8c47302ce.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a2.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c So, What Do We Canadians Have To Be Proud Of ? 1. Smarties 2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp 3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls. 4. Baseball is Canadian - First game June 4, 1838 - Ingersoll , ON 5. Lacrosse is Canadian 6. Hockey is Canadian 7. Basketball is Canadian 8. Apple pie is Canadian 9. Mr.. Dress-up beats Mr. Rogers 10. Tim Hortons beats Dunkin' Donuts http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3dd31647f9-5d90-4db2-8adb-3b3125693c07.gif%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvZ2lm%26name%3daW1hZ2UuZ2lm%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a3.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c 11. In the war of 1812, started by America , Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington .. We got bored because they ran away.. Then, we came home and partied........ Go figure. 12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany . 13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. EVER. (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars). 14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour. 15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught. 16. A Canadian invented Standard Time. 17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company. 18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. (That's more information than I need!) 19. We know what to do with all the body parts of a buffalo. 20. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, the paint roller, roller skates, duct tape, the jolly-jumper, air conditioned vehicles, the Zamboni, the barcode, the Blackberry, the telephone, the electric car, the goalie mask, the pacemaker, and the snow blower. 21. Even the light bulb was invented by a Canadian (Henry Woodward patented it in 1874). The patent was bought by some obscure American named Edison who improved upon the design and took credit for inventing it. 22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal, and lived to tell about it still speaking proper English. 23. A Canadian invented Superman. 24. Our elections only take one day, and we prorogue parliament (quit and go home) when our politicians fight too much. 25. We have coloured money. We regulate our banks, and although we'd never admit it, we really like paying taxes. 26. Our beer advertisements rock {Incidently...so does our beer} BUT MOST IMPORTANT ! The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOoohhhhh.... Canada !! http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3dfa49d60f-4a52-42b7-8d61-257bd87345ce.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a4.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c
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Hi, I have been looking in vain for a set of saddlebag liners for my 84 VR.. Can't find anything that would fit and my sewing ability is NOT going to allow me to make any..I have found a few old posts and pm'd Beer 30 , but have not heard anything.... Any ideas or thoughts....Love to have a set for our summer trip to CO Clay
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Just out of curiosity... How many people in here might not like it if a restaurant put alcohol in or on your food without your knowledge? I know mos,t if not all the alcohol, would evaporate. But there would still be the flavor left behind. I'm just concerned about the alcoholics who might not want it. I know some who won't even have an N/A beer because there is still about .05% alcohol in it. And there is also some who feel that if they got a taste of it in their food might fear a relapse. Does anybody agree with my assumptions? The reason I ask is because a friend of mine just opened a Bar & Grill a couple weeks ago and one of the cooks insists on putting beer on the burgers and using it to saute the fried onions and such. I love beer... with my burger, but not on it. Thanks for any input, Bill
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