BigG

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. ... "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million." Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some ammo loads for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks: “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, I think it’s time you quit hunting, shooting, handloading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat.” Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?” ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.” “Ex wife!” she screams. “I didn’t know you were married before!” ”I wasn’t.”

A young couple, just married, were in their hotel honeymoon suite, on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, ‘Here, put these on.’ She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. ‘I can't wear your pants,’ she said. ‘That's right,’ said the husband, ‘and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man and I wear the pants in this family.’ With that she flipped him her panties and said, ‘Try these on.’ He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. ‘Heck,’ he said, ‘I can't get into your panties!’ She replied, ‘That's right, and that's the way its going to be until your attitude changes!’

With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends. Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice white wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something that I’ve never done before – I took a cab home. Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don’t know where I got it and now that it’s in my garage I don’t know what to do with it.

I got this in my email at work today. I can't use the money so I'm passing it along to any one else who wishes to be a sucker...er rich. According to the email, 276.5 million minus some token amount for orphanages and less privileged children. At least in this one, the grammar and spelling is not so bad. Dear Friend, I hope that you will not expose or betray this trust that I am about to impose on you. I decided to contact you to help me actualize this business for the mutual benefit of both our families. My name is Mr. Sasha Kutah the Auditing and Accounting section manager in a bank, there is one of our customers who have made fixed deposit of sum of ($39.5)million for 7 years and upon maturity; I sent the notification to his address, but no response. After few months, I sent a reminder and finally I discovered from his business partner that he died after a brief illness in his country. We tried everything humanly possible to locate his relatives or family, but all efforts failed. The deposit is still intact with my bank and the interest is being paid into the principal sum at the end of each year. If the fund remains in the account for more months, the fund will be confiscated and transferred into the treasury of the Government as unclaimed funds. This is why I contact you for joining hands with the honesty and truth to ensure that the fund is transferred into your bank account, a bank account anywhere in the world can help the transfer. All that is required of you is to contact my bank with the information I will send you as the business associate of the depositor with this system the fund will be paid into a bank account you will provide to the bank. To be honest with you, this is totally legal and 100% risk free. But the secret must remain between you and me, I can assure you that I have worked with this bank for many years and I know all the secrets and I have carefully mapped out my perfect strategies to handle this operation successfully. The depositor is my close friend before his death that is the main reason why I'm the only one working at the bank here that knows much about the existence of this fund and the secrets and the depositor. We will also use some part of the funds to help the orphanage and less privileged children in the world, while I invest part of my share under your management. Please reply quickly enough to enable me decide how to proceed. I await your response. Mr. Sasha Kutah. P.S. I'll provide the return email address on request.

There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my groceries the cashier looked me in the eye and said, "Strip down facing me." Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to my debit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us a little clearer!

Individuals who smoke probably know by now that smoking is a serious health risk. I don't need to tell them that. Folks who ride without a helmet probably know what will happen in even a minor accident when their head hits something. I don't need to tell them that either. Making the argument that we all will share in their increased health care costs for dangerous/unhealthful behavior opens the gate to a mighty slippery slope. Tying behavior to health care costs allows the government to regulate almost all behavior from drinking sodas (See New York city), to what we eat, wear, ride, drive. This list could be endless. For myself, I really do not want that intimate of a relationship with my government. As an adult, I want to be able to make my own choices and live with the consequences, both good and bad, of those choices.

I've got a 97 Tour Classic and got my fairing from http://www.wideopencustom.com/ . They make a very nice product. The V-Star fairing mounts fit the Royal Star. They are more expensive than Memphis Shades but less than the Hoppe and the radio sounds real good. Fairing with radio and painted to match the bike was about $900. Not quite quick detach but removal only takes about 5 minutes. It keeps the wind off my hands much better than the stock windshield.

Found this sample Citizenship Test today. Mighty interesting and not as easy as you might think. The 96 question multiple choice takes a few minutes. The correct answer to each is displayed immediately. http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/2011/0104/Could-you-pass-a-US-citizenship-test/Who-signs-bills

I've had problems with IE8 and 9 misbehaving when Firefox works just fine. In particular after going from 8 to 9 and after some MS updates. I've found this little bat file to fix a whole host of errors by ensuring that all the dll files used by the various flavors of IE are registered. Here's where to read about and download them: http://iefaq.info/index.php?action=artikel&cat=42&id=133&artlang=en

Besides the Royal Star there sits in my garage an 02 Tour Glide Trike for the wife and an 02 750 Kawasaki Vulcan for one of the girls.

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, 'You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day.' Taken aback, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the manager replies, 'You must understand that to a company like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good day.' Stunned, the man leaves Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25 lb. crates o f beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that night with several bags of groceries for his family. During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day. By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly. Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to buy a broken-down pickup truck. At the end of a year he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the community college so she can keep books for him. By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He continues to work hard. Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the business grossed over one million dollars. Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, 'What, you don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!' 'Ha!' snorts the man. 'If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $5.35 an hour.' Which brings us to the moral of the story: Since you got this story by e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire. Sadly, I received it also

A man is at work one day when he notices that one of his co-workers is wearing an earring. He knows the co-worker to be a regular, conservative fellow, and so he’s curious about this sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to his friend and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” “Don’t make a big deal, it’s only an earring,” was the sheepish reply. There’s silence for a few minutes, but curiosity prods and the next question is, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”

Found this product on fleabay around $14.00. Use it with my full face and glasses. It clips/glues/screws between the helmet and the liner. It doesn't block much view but does block the sun at low angle. Try a search for Frog Lidz. Always available.

You have a better chance of getting it right if you read slowly. The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is how cat. 4. This is to cat. 5. This is keep cat. 6. This is an cat. 7. This is old cat. 8. This is fart cat. 9. This is busy cat. 10. This is for cat. 11. This is forty cat. 12. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.