A better day today

[Gary N.]

As most of you know I lost my dear wife last Oct. in a motorcycle accident. I've been struggling with this everyday since and more so since I came back home from the hospital. I still cry almost everyday.

Today the weather was nice and I went out to the shop. I got my '32 Ford out and gave it a wash, aired up the tires and met some friends for coffee. When I came home I went back out and started working on the '06 RSV. I got one new tire on, changed the oil in the rear end and put a few pieces of safety chrome on along with my Bubs and HD fishtails. It sure felt good to work out there with the doors open and the sun shining.

A friend called and invited me out for dinner so I jumped into the '32 Ford and picked him up and went for a great turkey dinner with all the trimmings. Even splurged and had a apple dumpling for dessert. I haven't been eating dessert for a while now.

Although I'm really beat right now, I really enjoyed the day. And that's something I haven't been able to say for a while.

[eagleeye]

I'm glad that you had a great day Gary. I know that time heals all wounds but that is a very big wound.

We had that kinda day here today too.

 

Steve

[hipshot]

gary.

i am happy ---for you!

 

wish for you, that the healing continues.

just jt

[MikeM8560]

I cant say to know your loss but i have had my share. and you will have more and more good days:smile11:

[Yammer Dan]

Good one Gary hope they keep coming.

[sarges46]

Personally, I think you are doing great. You are not hiding, you have not stopped talking about Leslie which would be terribly disrespectful to her, you dont hide your feelings which I feel would be normal. You are going about recovering, accepting time with friends and doing things you like.

 

Good for you. Admitting you enjoyed the day....why not if you did. Cry everyday....why not, you miss your Love. You sure sound normal to me.

 

No one would every think less of you for any of that.

 

See you in Kitchner.

[autopilot]

Hey Gary!

 

I have too tell you..(and I don't really understand this), obviously I don't know you and didn't know Leslie, but I kid you not, I think about you (and a couple of other members, but mainly you, buddy) every single day! Don't ask why 'cause I couldn't tell you if I had to. Neither, can I nor would I say that I know how you feel. I have a sliver of an idea based on my personal experience, but that's all. What I do know, from here in the forums is that you are an exceptionally strong person. Maybe that's why I like you so much, not having met you. I also know that there will always be good days and bad days and that as time moves forward, there will be more good than bad. Grief isn't fun, but it is healthy for us, if we don't allow it to control & drive us. It shows us that we're human.

 

So, my brother, I will think my thoughts and say my prayers for you and know what I know.....and look forward to the day I get to meet ya. In the meantime, God Bless you!

 

 

 

You'll just have to excuse me gettin all serious and gushy. There are times I do & times I don't. I'm generally not the one that makes the choice which, if you know what I mean? Hey, I'm (almost) strictly a point and push kinda guy. OK, stick a fork in me 'cause I is done!

[Freebird]

You are an inspiration to me Gary. I have lost loved ones and it was very hard for me but I know that it doesn't compare to how I would feel if I lost my wife. I too still think about and pray for you on a regular basis. I'm glad that you are looking for and finding some joy in your life. Though you will never, and I think should never, get over this completely...I do think that the days will get better as time passes. I am glad that I know you and glad that I had the pleasure of meeting Leslie.

[Sweetnothing]

Gary,

I'm also glad you had a good day!! We all wish that for you, as you have had enough bad ones! Every time I see you, you look a little better. So emotionally, it will take longer! As the summer comes, you will keep yourself busy, but what you should do it start thinking of winter time projects you can do, so you can slide right into them. Keep your mind occupied....but remember the good times with Leslie!

Remember, we are always here when you need a

[Moose]

Gary,

 

Thanks for sharing that. May the rest of your days be good.

 

Chuck

[PrairieStar]

Good to hear Gary. Time doesn't make that hollowness go away but will put it more in the background so that you can get back on track and do the things you did before.

 

Regards;

Rod.

[Squidley]

My Friend,

 

I read of your daily trials and look up to you, even though you will never admit it, your one of the strongest people I know. As much as it hurts me, being your friend and seeing you in pain, I know that your working through this as exactly you should be. There are many of us that think of you on a daily basis, I being one of them. It's great when you share your thoughts, and pain with us. I know for me it makes me happy to be alive and slow down a bit to smell the roses. I have said it before and will again, the phone is always on, and were always here to chat....the good days will continue Buddy

[Marcarl]

I as sit here thinking about what to impart to you, a thought came to my mind: Now this is not necessarily a real good thought and often I speak my mind before I think it through, but it's still has a good ring to it, so I'm going to share it with you. The first part will be the hard part, but hopefully the last part will be helpful.

If Leslie were still here with us, but instead of being healthy and ready to go with you all the time she was bedridden and unable to help out. Knowing the person that she was, what would she say to you on such a beautiful day????? She would have told you to leave her alone, and go out and enjoy, work on your bike, clean it up, and take the day and go for a ride. Well she's not here, so she can't tell you that, maybe that's why I had to think of it.

She's not bedridden and sick anymore. She's beyond that, but her memory is here, and I bet you can also hear her speak at times. Her words would be: I know you loved me as I loved you, and I don't want you to forget me, because what we had was awesome, but because I loved you I want you to continue on with life and live it to the fullest. Because you loved me so much, you will miss me, enjoy the memories, look back on them fondly, but a new part of life lies ahead of you, enjoy that as well. Don't be feeling bad about the fact that I can't join you and be there with you, it will be different, the past cannot be undone, but the future will be shaped by how you live today.

Don't worry about the day of tomorrow, for today has enough worries of it's own (Jesus)

Carl

[Guest BluesLover]

Gary - I am so glad to hear that you had a good day.

 

I am sure that, with time, they will become more frequent too. And, you have to know, that Leslie is still with you, watching over you.

 

Glad, as well, that you're busy dressing up that '06 ... she's got some catching up to do

 

Cheers,

[Skid]

Glad to hear the great news. Just continue to take one step at a time, and we'll keep the prayers going.

[Leadwolf56]

Gary,

Hope all of your days are like that or better.

 

Kevin

[Tartan Terror]

Gary its great to see you doing better. Listening to you is like looking at my own Father. last year in the spring we lost my Mother. They had been together for 43 years never apart. Ive watched the progression with my Father from being hopelessly in grief but holding it together from enjoying life now. Took alot of time and some changes in routine. Now a year later I have trouble keeping track of who he is dating, He has a new vehicle to replace the minivan he needed for Mom as she was handicaped. Volunteers in the Kitchen at bingo for the Moose club and gets hit on by all the older ladies. (My Dad is a gigolo!!! LOL) Though trough all this he never forgets and still spends time with Mom (Where her ashes are). Time will make it better but she will always be there with you.

 

Scotty

[cliffno350]

Thank you for the post Gary, I cant really imagine how hard it is and has been for you, maybe a small inkling but your strenght encourages me every time I hear of your doing and doing better, the love you had fo reach other is amazing and wonderful, thank you for allowing us a glimse it makes my and our difficulties easier to handle I hope that doesnt sound too selfish, yo are an amazing man and our prayers are with you, buddy,

[Eugene]

Hi Gary

So nice to hear you at least were able to enjoy - that's how it will be my friend. A little ray of sunshine once in a while, some tears, some hope, some changes. It all takes some time - things may not necessarily get better - maybe different - but certainly the sunshine will happen again in time. Each year gets a bit brighter and the memories start to become happier ones. The literature claims that grief gets in the way of happy memories - that is sooooo true. It's been 4 and half years since my wife Barb passed away and now I can look back and enjoy the happy memories. I still cry on occasion and I hope that never leaves me but overall, I am now enjoying life again.

 

It sounds like you are certainly doing the right things - keeping active, keeping busy and seeing some good in life.

 

I will continue thinking of you.

 

Eugene

[Stratcat]

God bless my friend the pain never goes away completely (and I guess it shouldn't) but with time it does get much easier. Your in our prayers!

[SteveW]

Hi Gary

Here is wishing you more and more days like you just had. Just one day at a time Bro.

Life is short we should all make the best of what we have.

[AKRefugee]

Gary,

 

I have been following your trial and tribulation since I joined this site. I am sorry I have not spoken up to you before now but I feel a strong conviction to do so now. I have been in your shoes with my wife many years ago. Our accident involved an airplane rather than a motorcycle but the results were the same. I am glad to hear that you are able to recognize a good day when you get them. They truly are a gift. As you relearn how to recognize them they will appear more often. Also be glad for the not so good days. They help keep your memories refreshed and eventually you will be able to resend them up as a gift of thankfulness. Don't know if my words make sense to you but believe me when I tell you that my heart and my prayers are daily lifting you up to continue to refind that calm spot that you shared with your wife.

[mini-muffin]

Glad you had a good day Gary. You know when you need us we're waiting for ya in chat.

6 wks and 5 days till maintenance day. Hope your strong enough for all them hugs you'll be getting.

 

 

 

Margaret

[Carbon_One]

Gary I can't add nothing everyone else has spoken of here but you will always be in my thoughts. Live life as you best know how - both the good and bad.

Larry

[Diane B.]

Hi Gary. Glad you posted. More glad that you took advantage of the good day! I wish many more for you. See you Saturday!!

 

Diane