SilvrT Posted November 26, 2008 Share #26 Posted November 26, 2008 if you want to play with the big dogs, you have to learn to pee in the tall grass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ixolibsky Posted November 26, 2008 Share #27 Posted November 26, 2008 He's about as welcome as a fart in a diver's helment! About as funny as a gumball machines in a lockjaw ward. he's so smart he thought asphalt was a butt disease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pegscraper Posted November 26, 2008 Share #28 Posted November 26, 2008 The guy doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to grab ahold of. The cry of a rising river might be no more than someone peeing in your boot. (Applies particularly well to the global warming nonsense.) Here's a favorite, said slowly and thoughtfully, as if making it up on the fly - you could put all he knows about ***, put it in a thimble, then insert your thumb, and feel no discomfort due to tightness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maplehawk Posted November 26, 2008 Share #29 Posted November 26, 2008 Shes got a face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle Shes got a face like a chewed up toffee :rotf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bongobobny Posted November 26, 2008 Share #30 Posted November 26, 2008 Not the sharpest pencil in the drawer... When they handed out brains he thought they said trains, and was on the wrong track... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonRider Posted November 26, 2008 Share #31 Posted November 26, 2008 You stole my best one................:rotf: one french fry short of being a happy meal///////:confused24: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonRider Posted November 26, 2008 Share #32 Posted November 26, 2008 Did you have to post all of them.................. Taken from here. Not pulling a full wagon. Not the brightest star in the sky. The light's on but no one's home. Not the brightest bulb in the box. A few screws short of a hardware store. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A few cards short of a full deck. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. About as sharp as a marble. Only has one oar in the water. Smart as a bag of rocks. A hamburger short of picnic. The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. A few peas short of a casserole. A few keys short of a piano. Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. As smart as a stick. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. Has an IQ of room temperature. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. Not the sharpest crayon in the box Not the the sharpest tool in the shed They are depriving some village of its idiot. A few threads short of a sweater. Driveway doesn't quite reach the road. The battery is not fully charged. Dumber than a bag of hammers. A few bricks short of a full load. A few clowns short of a circus. A few beers short of a six-pack. Dumber than a box of hair. All foam no beer. As smart as bait. Forgot to pay his brain bill. The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Has a leak in the skylight. Too much yardage between the goal posts. Not all the soldiers are marching in line. Dumber than paint. Half a bubble off plumb. Donated his brain to science before he was done with it. A few shades beyond blonde. A few watts short of a light bulb Running on 3 cylinders. Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord. Would lose a debate with a doorknob. Has an IQ lower than plant life. All volume, and no content. Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. The cheese slid off the cracker. Doesn't have all the chairs at the table. . A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding. A few pecans short of a fruitcake. Would argue with a signpost. If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change. Dumb as a salt shaker. Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states. Knitting with only one needle. The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool. Not the quickest bunny in the forest. The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed. Not exactly burning all thrusters. A few colors short of a rainbow. The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water. A few ships short of a fleet. A monosynaptic cretin (Don't understand it? 'nuff said) A few noodles short of a chow mein. A few bristles short of a broom. Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff. The relative IQ of a deck chair. A poster child for birth control. A few players short of a team. Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it. A few sheep short of a flock. Not the brightest light in the harbor. One plate short of a tea set. A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock..... A few slices short of a sandwich..... A few sausages short of a BBQ If her IQ was any flipping lower we'd have to water her. A few more braincells and he would be a cabbage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hale374 Posted November 26, 2008 Share #33 Posted November 26, 2008 I'm sweating like a whore in church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilvrT Posted November 26, 2008 Share #34 Posted November 26, 2008 one log short of a cord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilvrT Posted November 26, 2008 Share #35 Posted November 26, 2008 here's one that some of you might have encountered on your computer... Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue ... yeahsureright ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerviperus Posted November 26, 2008 Share #36 Posted November 26, 2008 Did you have to post all of them..................And so it begins... I'm not Black Owl. That's Cerberus you're thinking of. And although I posted those, I have to admit I laughed harder at most of the ones posted here than the ones from that site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozark Posted November 27, 2008 Share #37 Posted November 27, 2008 Taken from here. Not pulling a full wagon. Not the brightest star in the sky........ ....................................................................... If her IQ was any flipping lower we'd have to water her. A few more braincells and he would be a cabbage Me thinks someone just use used up all the good one. Thanks alot Cerviperus. P.S. I still like your bike though. :hihi: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurt Posted November 27, 2008 Share #38 Posted November 27, 2008 If it were any different it wouldn't be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted November 27, 2008 Share #39 Posted November 27, 2008 Intelligence is Not a Requirement to be a Convict!! My own invention!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1BigDog Posted November 27, 2008 Share #40 Posted November 27, 2008 When God said "Come Forth for Brains" he came fifth........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cecdoo Posted November 27, 2008 Share #41 Posted November 27, 2008 Throw him in a barrel of T*T's, he'd come out sucking his thumb. Craig (Hope its within the "PG" rating) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
got2mnytoys Posted November 27, 2008 Share #42 Posted November 27, 2008 (edited) Busy as a whore on dollar day Tired as a whore or dollar day Edited November 27, 2008 by got2mnytoys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpagak Posted November 27, 2008 Share #43 Posted November 27, 2008 SLEEZIER THAN A BOX OF :rasberry:SNOT.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey beard Posted November 27, 2008 Share #44 Posted November 27, 2008 His dipstick isn't touching any oil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcarl Posted November 27, 2008 Share #45 Posted November 27, 2008 "Intimacy changes after marriage; then you're in bed with a relative." Maybe if you're redneck, but normally not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSTDdog Posted November 27, 2008 Share #46 Posted November 27, 2008 You can't spell overreact with out the word ovary.... Has a photographic memory, just doesn't have any film..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcarl Posted November 27, 2008 Share #47 Posted November 27, 2008 Better to have people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who are Dutch and those who wish they were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooldood Posted November 27, 2008 Share #48 Posted November 27, 2008 He's from the shallow end of the gene pool... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tessa c2 Posted November 27, 2008 Share #49 Posted November 27, 2008 if you can't keep up to the pack....... then it's time that the old dog stays infrount of the door. useless as t?ts on a boar it's all fun and games, till somebody looses an eye, then it becomes hularious then there is the one that i use most, and i would be bared from here for life, if i put it on, but it is a comparason, to the way i have intercourse, and i can put in any discription i want, or just leave it open and let that person fll in the action. ie, he drives like, @##$$%%%%^^&^, ; lots of speed and no control a night at the tavern; came home 3 sheets to the wind, completly gibbled, need band aids for your eyes, at work, with they hand held radios,, they will ask, Pete are you by? i'll answere, no i prefere women Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcarl Posted November 27, 2008 Share #50 Posted November 27, 2008 Back in the day when many people smoked cigarettes and Camels were popular: Nine out ten doctors who have tried Camels still prefer women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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