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for Canadians who are depressed....

Guest Swifty

By Guest Swifty
in Watering Hole

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Guest Swifty

Guest Swifty

Posted
Posted

...in the middle of a cold snap with the bike sitting in the living room it may be difficult to be proud of the country you live in...so I thought I'd post this a-political list in an attempt to cheer up my comrades...(actually, Charlie sent it to me because he was too chicken to post it) :innocent:

 

 

CANADIAN.... Eh !

http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3dd43ea745-a908-4339-b48e-ade9feba9af0.gif%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvZ2lm%26name%3daW1hZ2UuZ2lm%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a1.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3d6c1810db-27c0-4590-82e0-68a8c47302ce.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a2.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c

So, What Do We Canadians Have To Be Proud Of ?

 

 

1. Smarties

 

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

 

3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls.

 

4. Baseball is Canadian - First game June 4, 1838 - Ingersoll , ON

 

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

 

6. Hockey is Canadian

 

7. Basketball is Canadian

 

8. Apple pie is Canadian

 

9. Mr.. Dress-up beats Mr. Rogers

 

10. Tim Hortons beats Dunkin' Donuts http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3dd31647f9-5d90-4db2-8adb-3b3125693c07.gif%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvZ2lm%26name%3daW1hZ2UuZ2lm%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a3.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c

11. In the war of 1812, started by America , Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington .. We got bored because they ran away.. Then, we came home and partied........ Go figure.

 

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany .

 

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. EVER. (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars).

 

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught.

 

16. A Canadian invented Standard Time.

 

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.

 

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. (That's more information than I need!)

 

19. We know what to do with all the body parts of a buffalo.

 

20. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, the paint roller, roller skates, duct tape, the jolly-jumper, air conditioned vehicles, the Zamboni, the barcode, the Blackberry, the telephone, the electric car, the goalie mask, the pacemaker, and the snow blower.

21. Even the light bulb was invented by a Canadian (Henry Woodward patented it in 1874). The patent was bought by some obscure American named Edison who improved upon the design and took credit for inventing it.

 

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal, and lived to tell about it still speaking proper English.

 

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

 

 

24. Our elections only take one day, and we prorogue parliament (quit and go home) when our politicians fight too much.

 

25. We have coloured money. We regulate our banks, and although we'd never admit it, we really like paying taxes.

 

26. Our beer advertisements rock {Incidently...so does our beer}

BUT MOST IMPORTANT !

 

The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

 

OOoohhhhh.... Canada !!

 

 

 

http://sn127w.snt127.mail.live.com/mail/SafeRedirect.aspx?hm__tg=http://65.55.72.71/att/GetAttachment.aspx&hm__qs=file%3dfa49d60f-4a52-42b7-8d61-257bd87345ce.jpg%26ct%3daW1hZ2UvanBlZw_3d_3d%26name%3daW1hZ2UuanBn%26inline%3d1%26rfc%3d0%26empty%3dFalse%26imgsrc%3dcid%253a4.2977752610%2540web56907.mail.re3.yahoo.com%26msgHash%3dffffffffffffffff%26shared%3d1&oneredir=1&ip=10.13.126.8&d=d1404&mf=0&a=01_e4dd0f5e3106f83c36a5725719d6795cbf994062f900a7c89a2ed1687357ef0c

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Freebird

Freebird

Posted
Posted

LOL...there are so many inaccuracies in that stupid list that I won't even take the time to list them all......

 

Just do a "who invented baseball"...

or "who invented velcro"....

 

etc.....with an advanced Google search if you want actual facts and not urban legend emails. :)

 

You troublemakers.... :bang head:

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Guest Swifty

Guest Swifty

Posted
Posted
LOL...there are so many inaccuracies in that stupid list that I won't even take the time to list them all......

 

Just do a "who invented baseball"...

or "who invented velcro"....

 

etc.....with an advanced Google search if you want actual facts and not urban legend emails. :)

 

You troublemakers.... :bang head:

semantics, ssshhhmantics....you're worse than a teacher!

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SilvrT

SilvrT

Posted
Posted
LOL...there are so many inaccuracies in that stupid list that I won't even take the time to list them all......

 

Just do a "who invented baseball"...

or "who invented velcro"....

 

etc.....with an advanced Google search if you want actual facts and not urban legend emails. :)

 

You troublemakers.... :bang head:

 

yup... and most definately false is the part about us "liking to pay taxes" !!!

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Gray Ghost

Gray Ghost

Posted
Posted

Realizing that Swiftie (and possibly Charlie) have become deranged from the cold and inability to ride their bikes, I, being a good neighbor, propose the following solution to some of their despair.

 

Crate up your bikes and ship them to me. I will ride them and cherish them until your riding season, then you can fly down and ride them back. The pro considerations are that not having the bike in your sight every day may lessen the depression you are in about not being able to ride. Plus you will have more room in your house, which will allow you to store more US craft beers, the drinking of which will improve your outlook on life.

 

thus ends this public service announcement.

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Squidley

Squidley

Posted
Posted
Realizing that Swiftie (and possibly Charlie) have become deranged from the cold and inability to ride their bikes, I, being a good neighbor, propose the following solution to some of their despair.

 

Crate up your bikes and ship them to me. I will ride them and cherish them until your riding season, then you can fly down and ride them back. The pro considerations are that not having the bike in your sight every day may lessen the depression you are in about not being able to ride. Plus you will have more room in your house, which will allow you to store more US craft beers, the drinking of which will improve your outlook on life.

 

thus ends this public service announcement.

 

 

See you Canucks, thats how generous we Texans are. Cliff would go out of his way to help you folks out and probably wouldn't even make you pay for the fuel to keep the bikes in good running shape!

Let me say this really loud

TEXAS!!!

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Dano

Dano

Posted
Posted

So, What Do We Canadians Have To Be Proud Of ? Still tryin' to figur' that one out, eh?

 

 

1. Smarties So good you're keeping them to yourselves

 

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp OK, so the coffee crisp is good, I'll give you that one!

 

3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls.

Can't play as long as us, and can't hold on to the ball!

 

4. Baseball is Canadian - First game June 4, 1838 - Ingersoll , ON

And HOW many teams do you have up there now?

 

5. Lacrosse is Canadian And your point is?

 

6. Hockey is Canadian See above

 

7. Basketball is Canadian My son will STILL beat your son down in the low post

 

8. Apple pie is Canadian But Johnny Appleseed planted the trees down here

 

 

9. Mr.. Dress-up beats Mr. Rogers But was he a "good" neighbor?!

 

10. Tim Hortons beats Dunkin' Donuts Tried 'em, didn't like 'em

 

11. In the war of 1812, started by America , Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington..We got bored because they ran away.. Then, we came home and partied........ Go figure.

Mind comin' down here and doing that again? You can go straight down to Washington, no need to stop along the way.

 

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany . No comment needed

 

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. EVER. (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars). Picky, aren't you?

 

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour.

Our bar fights last longer than that

 

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught. So THAT'S where Barnie Fife went to!

 

16. A Canadian invented Standard Time. Kinda answers itself, if'n you think about it!

 

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company. Downsizings a bear, isn't it

 

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. (That's more information than I need!) We know to feed our dogs so they don't do that!

 

19. We know what to do with all the body parts of a buffalo. Why?

 

20. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, insulin, the paint roller, roller skates, duct tape, the jolly-jumper, air conditioned vehicles, the Zamboni, the barcode, the Blackberry, the telephone, the electric car, the goalie mask, the pacemaker, and the snow blower. Guess you gotta have something to do in those 11 months of winter

 

21. Even the light bulb was invented by a Canadian (Henry Woodward patented it in 1874). The patent was bought by some obscure American named Edison who improved upon the design and took credit for inventing it. Of course, we make everything better!

 

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal, and lived to tell about it still speaking proper English. Once again, no answer needed!

 

23. A Canadian invented Superman. But it took us to bring him to life

 

 

 

24. Our elections only take one day, and we prorogue parliament (quit and go home) when our politicians fight too much. Once again, no intestinal fortitude for a good fight!

 

25. We have coloured money. We regulate our banks, and although we'd never admit it, we really like paying taxes. Go ahead, you can keep those

 

26. Our beer advertisements rock {Incidently...so does our beer} (Where are your Super Bowl commercials?)

BUT MOST IMPORTANT !

 

The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

That's why we wear gloves!

 

OOoohhhhh.... Canada !!

The previous replies are not meant to offend anybody of Canadian heritage, bloodline or nationality. They are merely presented as representation of the folks who know better than to stay up where it's too cold to not be able to get out and ride their scoot even in the middle of winter!

Oh, and we know how to build garages to keep our bikes in, so we don't take up valuable living room space where the Barcolounger and couch goes to watch REAL football and basketball!

:innocent-emoticon:

 

 

 

 

 

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DragonRider

DragonRider

Posted
Posted

Says who...........Every time we put on Vogel in Ga, we are invaded by Canucks.....:stirthepot:...:stirthepot:... some guy on a 1st gen........I think his name is Dave!!!!!:stirthepot:

 

Now you want to start one with the only country that borders us that stays on there own side, for the most part? :whistling:

 

 

Bryan

[/font]

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scotty

scotty

Posted
Posted
Now you want to start one with the only country that borders us that stays on there own side, for the most part? :whistling:

 

 

Its OK, according to canadian intel documents, (found in every smarties box) the war has been called off!

 

 

Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.

 

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.

 

"Hallo, President Obama " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, up ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove , Newfoundland , Canada , eh? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"

 

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news !

How big is your army ?"

 

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold , me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

 

Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

 

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

 

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

 

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry 's farm tractor."

 

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

 

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

 

Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. " President Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

 

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

 

"Jumpins," said Archie, "l'll have ta call youse back."

 

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. " President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

 

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

 

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners.."

 

CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

:canada::canada:

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gunkylump

gunkylump

Posted
Posted
Realizing that Swiftie (and possibly Charlie) have become deranged from the cold and inability to ride their bikes, I, being a good neighbor, propose the following solution to some of their despair.

 

Crate up your bikes and ship them to me. I will ride them and cherish them until your riding season, then you can fly down and ride them back. The pro considerations are that not having the bike in your sight every day may lessen the depression you are in about not being able to ride. Plus you will have more room in your house, which will allow you to store more US craft beers, the drinking of which will improve your outlook on life.

 

thus ends this public service announcement.

 

I don't have a "sh*tty" outlook on life anymore, not since my "eyerectomy". Not sure what that is??

 

They severed the cord that connects my *sshole to my eyeballs, and voila.....the "sh*tty" outlook is GONE!!

 

 

gunk

:nanner:

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Squidley

Squidley

Posted
Posted
Hey Squid Cliff lives in GA, what's up with this whole Texas thing.

Margaret

 

I was born a Texan, raised a Texan, and as soon as I get done with this job I will be back in God's country (Texas for any heathens out there). I am merely a Texan in exile.

 

 

Yeah....what he said, and I was merely a Texan born in Michigan, yeah...thats the ticket

:happy34:

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Venturous Randy

Venturous Randy

Posted
Posted
I think West By God has the 1st Claim to Gods Country!!! And pick it up and shake the wrinkles out and it is bigger than texas!!:whistling::snow2:

 

So, Dan you are saying that WV needs a good ironing, eh?

Even though Tennessee is considered to be in the south, from my house to Memphis, I am actually closer to Canada.

RandyA

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Marcarl

Marcarl

Posted
Posted
I think West By God has the 1st Claim to Gods Country!!! And pick it up and shake the wrinkles out and it is bigger than texas!!:whistling::snow2:

Hey,, this is a CANADIAN thread,,,, leave it alone,,,,, trying to hijack it to become a Texas thread,,, of all the nerve,,,,,, if you don't watch it,, we'll be over there to take some prisoners for sure.

 

And when it comes to who goes over where more often,,,,, don't start counting, or you may loose!!!!

 

Good going Swifty, at least you got most of it right, I really didn't see any spelling mistakes!!!!!

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Yammer Dan

Yammer Dan

Posted
Posted
So, Dan you are saying that WV needs a good ironing, eh?

Even though Tennessee is considered to be in the south, from my house to Memphis, I am actually closer to Canada.

RandyA

 

 

 

So you wanting to race to Canada???:7_6_3[1]:

 

 

 

Can we wait a couple months???:snow2::snow2::snow2:

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