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Found 10 results

  1. Found this poem on Facebook, thought everyone would enjoy it......... When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet. Cranky Old Man What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see? What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me? A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise, Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes? Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!' Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do. And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe? Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill? Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me. I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will. I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother, Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet. A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap. Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep. At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own. Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home. A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast, Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last. At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone, But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn. At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee, Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me. Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead. I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own. And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known. I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel. It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool. The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart. There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart. But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells, And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain. And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again. I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast. And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last. So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see. Not a cranky old man . Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!! Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!
  2. The Night Nurse...the more you think about this one, the funnier it gets. Short & sweet, A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: 'Well, that's great....that's just great ..........some a***ole's got my pen!:shock3:
  3. Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ______________________________________ 'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.' __________________________________________ A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' __________________________________________ An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' __________________________________________ A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. _________________________________________ Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' __________________________________________ A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' __________________________________________ While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. _________________________________________ The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
  4. An elderly, Jewish man named Mr. Steinfeld lived in a nursing home. One day he was walking slowly down the hallway with his head down. One of the nurses saw this and asked "Mr. Steinfeld, is everything alright?" Mr. Steinfeld replied "No darling, my penis died today." Shocked, the nurse replied "I'm sorry to hear that." Mr. Steinfeld proceeded to walk slowly with his head down back to his room. The next day the same nurse saw Mr. Steinfeld walking down the hallway, but this time his pants were unzipped and his penis was hanging out. The nurse asked "Mr. Steinfeld, I thought your penis died?" Mr. Steinfeld replied "That was yesterday, today is the viewing."
  5. It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon. A great day for a ride but here I am, sitting on the couch surfing. One minute I'm freezing the next I'm burning up. It's not even flu season yet. At least I have a good look'n nurse to take care of me. Chicken noodle soup is a wonderful thing.
  6. just wanted to ask for some prayers for him. today he was not doing to good? called his sister to take him to the E.R before they could get him in the room. he let lose all over the place. had a hard time breathing? checked him over and think he,s haveing real bad migraine?? while putting him in bed. they let go of him and boom down he went. now oldgoat is not a little man 250 pounds. so the damn nurse said she,s not lifting him with her bad back?? WTF if she has a bad back why work then? 2 nice men who where in the hall gave a hand. against hospitial policy of course.. got him in bed. and he was out like a light. nurse looked at us as to say now what? i said to her look honey **** or get off the pot.. got a doctor away from his nurse friend.. and they gave him a shot of something.. he,s resting ok now. but just wait till tomorrow when his sister gets a hold of the head of that staff. no migraine should do that...
  7. Had the left carpal done this morning. The right was done last year about this time. Looking forward to hands on riding this summer. No more dead fingers. But.... the nurse says I have an irregular heart beat, need to see my primary care Dr.....
  8. So last night I hooched my youngest son off to the local Horsepital as he was running a Temp of 103. Approached Nurse Ratchett at the Counter in the ER. She looks at me,then looks at son. First words outta her mouth was "Do you have Insurance"? When I indicated YES she cordially handed me a REAM of Forms along with a clipboard and TWO ink pens. After 40 minutes of writing furiously I anxiously waited for her to come get a DNA sample from me to prove that I was a real hard-working American Taxpayer...with viable Income....and my picture was not featured on the walls of every Post office in the Noo England area. Long story...short....Last night was such an enjoyable experience that I am now contemplating capping a round into my left foot and blowing my pinky toe right into oblivion....just to get back to Nurse Ratchett and bask in her warm personality and true caring for all who appear before her. Have a nice day all. Boomer.....who is rounding up the paperwork for his Legal name change to "PONCHO"...And says don't blame me...I didn't post signs with Spanish Directions to the Horsepital.
  9. I thought mine was fine till a friend sent me the following? Got any more to add? aoladp://MA25530668-0001/01FA72~1.GIFToday's BEst of the BEst Dr. Visit aoladp://MA25530668-0002/0937FA~1.GIF brother Don I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with the usual basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. I say, "135." The nurse puts me on the scale.. It turns out my weight is 180. The nurse asks, "Your height?" I answer, "5 feet 4 inches." The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5 feet 2 inches. She then takes my blood pressure and tells me that it's very high. "Of course it's high!" I scream. "When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!" She put me on Prozac.
  10. I am a nurse in a school district in Cincinnati. We are just now starting with cases of the flu. Even our district nurse has had it. I just wondered how many of you had had a case yourself, or in your own family. They are not testing here to prove it is the H1N1 flu because the test is so costly. Yama Mama:223:
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