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Dragonslayer

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Everything posted by Dragonslayer

  1. Any catastrophes of global and/or biblical proportions. Having arrived at Rock City and Ruby falls on top of Lookout Mountain overlooking Cloud Land Canyon just adjacent to Cloud Land Canyon Hang Gliding Park......................... Massey scurried off looking for a facility in which he could drain his kidney's and bladder..........draging the dessert bar which was still handcuffed to his wrist. Quickstep and Annie bought tickets so that the could tour the attraction. Dragonslayer, however, having been born and raised in this geographic region had visited Rock City and Ruby Falls on many occasions opted instead to meander over toward the Hang Gliding Park. With Yama Mama following close behind.
  2. It is truly my honor, privilege and pleasure to be of service to you! Furthermore, it would be my continuing honor, privilege and pleasure to service you in the future whenever you so desire and in whatever way you wish. Your wish is my command. I can make myself available to you on a regularly scheduled basis, spontaneously or by appointment at your convenience. 24-7, 365 days a year, nights, holidays or weekends, Your place or mine. For a nominal fee of course.... which I may choose to waive in certain circumstances.
  3. Mind of many colors: Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your point of view............The Dragonslayer, being chronologically challenged and a product of the sixties does from time to time experience some certain reoccurring colorful mental episodes....commonly referred to as flashbacks or flights of fancy if you will. However, since subsequently obtaining that plain of existence know as enlightenment or, possessor of Universal Knowledge he no longer partakes of nor condones the use of any mind altering or expanding substances....... except in the case of extreme emergencies. And then only under the direct supervision of his physician, therapist or other medical service provider. Furthermore, since it does happen to be raining, and since there is nothing else that can be done at this time, the Dragonslayer is currently corresponding with you within the confines of his private abode, where there are no minor children present and the local ordinances relating to the consumption or usage of tobacco products does not apply, he is from time to time imbibing in the use of certain tobacco products all of which are legal if not sociably acceptable. The smell of which is actually an subjective assessment defined by others actually in the immediate vicinity.
  4. As always, on any VR M&E, all are welcome regardless of what they ride or ride in, political or religious affiliation or temporary or permanent disability, afflictions, handicaps or ailments (being physical or mental in nature), age, race or national origin. In addition, as indicated by the title of this thread, this story is for everyone and any and all are invited to interject, participate and contribute in any way they so desire or see fit.
  5. No you were not bad at all. In fact it is the Dragonslayer's assessment you were very, very good ............... Based on the frisking episode. :whistling:In fact you were You did not get dessert because you did not ask for any and in fact stated that you were very satisfied and was not hungry, only wishing for a cup of Joe and a cigarette. However, fear not. Because since Massey handcuffed himself to the dessert bar with the stolen handcuffs before inquiring about the key..... which is not in our possession, he will be forced to continue this trip towing the dessert bar, handcuffed to his wrist. Hence, once again Your wish has been granted and you can have dessert whenever your little pea picking heart so desires.
  6. The Hazy cloud of true fictional bliss ("true fictional" being an oxymoron) ................ of course.......... It is widely known in most all of the literary circles that when writing in a "truely fictional" genra , (please excuse the repetitive use of this particular oxymoron) it is totally permissable and often times expected for the creative author to inject varrying degrees of creative and artistic licensed embellishment for the sake of the reader's amusement, amazement as well as the general entertainment value of such creative work. Therefore, the author can not be expected to soley relie on the facts when creating prose in the form of the written word in this genra. The use of creative formating of paragraph structure, punctuation, grammar, venacular word usage, font and text sizing and color selection or the use of Smilies where applicable, is also allowed and encouraged. MOPED We totally get the fact that Moped is your 1st Husband. But, since you introduced him to us with that handle we just naturally assumed that he obtained his name because of the particular model bike (if you can call a Moped a Bike), he rode. Just as we assume that given your druthers since you go by the handle YAMA MAMA we naturelly assume that you would ride a Yamaha and you are a mother. But, since you mentioned it, the more pertinent question would be are your riding Moped , your first husband or Moped the loosely defined motorcycle, or vica versa. Respecting your privacy and with all due respect, decorum did not allow nor have we, until now and only because you brought it up, questioned the circumstances of why you happen to be taking this trip with your first husband and not riding your own 99RSV and/or not your current husband. So, Yama Mama would you like to share? Inquiring minds want to know.
  7. Ok let me see if I can clear things up a bit so that we can get back on the road. We are running out of time if we want to get to Daytona in time for Biketoberfest by way of Rock City and Ruby Falls.And there will be other stops to be made as well. ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS Yes we are going to make a short stop to see Rock City & Ruby Falls for the following reasons. We were told to by the ghost of one Glenn Miller's band members to follow the sign that said SEE ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS. Dragonslayer's know (almost instinctively but more because they are bestowed with Ancient and Conventional wisdom) that in the Cosmic Universe hand book, titled ........... " Secrets of the Universe" Chapter 1: Rules of Engagement ................ Rule #1 states very emphatically and concisely: "Whenever given instructions by any member of the universe naturally operating on a higher plain of existence, awareness of enlightenment, or dimensional diversity it is mandatory for those earth bound entities, thereby having received such instructions and presumably seeking such higher plain of awareness,enlightenment or dimensional diversity to heed such instructions in every respect, as specified, forthwith. Therefore, being led to a particular place and time where further directional instructions, Omnipotent nuggets and tidbits of ancient Universal knowledge and wisdom, Handy Tools, weapons, ammunition or implements of destruction (only to be used for defensive purposes or constructive destruction) can be supplied, thus furthering the efforts and ensuring the capabilities of those aforementioned earthen bound entities to reach their next intended sequential goal or target destination, which will be determined and revealed in due time, at a later date, on a need to know basis. Those earth bound entities failing to heed such rightfully given instructions given by any duly authorized member of the universe operating on a plain of higher degree will be penalized in one or more of the following manners, to include but not limited to, mild inconvenience, uncomfortable circumstance (aka PITA), Untimely delay, Dramatic harassment (aka Drama), untimely demise, ecological, economical, astronomical, Geological catastrophic disaster of global and/or biblical proportions resulting in total annihilation of all earthen bound species (aka event horizon, The Second coming , End of Days, Mayan Calendar, Nostradamus's Prophesies) Forthwith.":scared: 2. the foregoing simply put means if we don't bad things could happen.................(Yama Mama you should be up to speed on all of this since your aftershock clarity vision) 3. It's a nice geographically convenient tourist attraction in the area that we can share with our Aussie friends Annie and Quikstep. They might want to experience since it is so close. Going there will also give Massey the opportunity to drain his kidneys, stretch his legs and walk off some of that chocolate syrup he injected.
  8. The VR riders went to the Golden Corral The Hardly Dangerson riders stayed Home Massey and Quickstep had Chocolate Yama Mama had none And the Gay New Mexico State Trooper piggy went wee, wee, wee, allllllll the way home
  9. Red rubber nose, two foot long big floppy shoes and a Raggity Ann Clown costume.......... Honking a Bicycle horn
  10. But, the truth be known, one of the Dragonslayer's super powers is that he can move faster than the speed of light making it possible for him to un-dress then dress Yama Mama in super fast forward... so fast that he can do it in public with mortals not being able to see it........ The problem is that when he is moving that fast it's hard to remember exactly in what order to put the clothes back on.
  11. Ok, OK, OK.....So suddenly as if by magic we find our selfs in the Golden Corral at the dessert bar. Massey has secretly removed the handcuffs from Yama Mama's pocket using them to handcuff himself to the dessert bar so that he can not be forcible removed by the manager for trying to inject himself intravenously with chocolate syrup meant for the soft serve vanilla ice cream.
  12. OK...Massey..... stay focused here and try to keep up.............. Golden Corral is at the next exit.... we have not gotten there yet.... sooooooooooooooooooooo Yama Mama is well within her God given right to slowly kill herself by smoke inhalation while riding Bi*ch on a moped.. But why anyone would want to ride Bi*ch on a Moped is beyond me, and breaches good judgment and conventional wisdom. There ought to be a law against it. Speaking of laws...... :soapbox:If all of you non smokers are so concerned about second hand smoke you should be the ones to have to go outside for fresh air when somebody lights up.......................... outside in the rain and in 0 degree weather. ......Because thats where the fresh air is and do you know how hard it is to light up a cig when your standing outside in the rain.
  13. The sensation was a delayed aftershock flashback tremor of the frisking incident that sudden focused her mind with a crystal clear vision. A vision that revealed the secrets of the universe as well as the answer to the question at hand. The vision made her realize Golden Coral was the answer, Everybody could get what they wanted to eat at a Golden Coral. Even though she felt satisfied she suddenly had the erge to smoke a cigarette. As she finished her cigarette see saw a sign that read ............................................................ Avoid Disappointment & Future Regret SEE ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS Golden Coral next exit
  14. ....................and maybe longer.
  15. But alais, Annie had grossly underestimated the Dragonslayer's frisking skills and did not realize that the frisking episode was such a orgasmic climatic experience that it snapped Yama Mama out of her amnesia.....forever. Making that interaction with the Dragonslayer an event she would remember for the rest of her life.
  16. The Sign.............. "What sign?" we asked. "The sign" he said "You know the sign I mean, The one that says SEE ROCK CITY & RUBY FALLS................................................."Then what" we asked ...... " Follow the sign ...............you dummies what do you think signs are for." he answered. As he was fading away we could hear his voice trailing off into the distance telling us to avoid disappointment and future regret by going to see Rock City and Ruby Falls.
  17. Noticeing Yama Mama's apparent disappointment the Dragonslayer steps up to the plate to offer his Dragonslayer skills. First he tried to console her by pointing out that it was probably just an oversight that the Officer did not frisk her due to him being distracted by Ruffy's pink chaps and pink paiseley bandana. But she should not worry because the Dragonslayer's motto is "Your wish is my command Dear Lady" "Spred um" he said as he then started frisking Yama Mama vigorousley up and down, over and over again and being very careful to not mis a single square inch of un-frisked real estate on her body.
  18. Finally some creative recognition. Sorry, Annie we weren't trying to make you barf up a lung or anything we were just trying to brighten your day.
  19. Bob????, your the one that let Virginia do it to you to support her new found artistic interest.
  20. I wonder which broken laws is he going to ticket us for? Could it be Dragonslayer's drag race to the front of the pack? Or that there are four riders riding abreast in one lane? Or the fact that one of them is trying to knock the rider that is in a suit of armor off his bike with a crutch. Or that the armored rider is getting dangerously close to the rider in pink chaps apparently trying to whisper something in his ear. Or just because we have a rider wearing pink chaps waving a pink paiseley bandanna in the first place. There is also a guy on a Moped peddeling like a demon trying to keep up with a pack of Ventures with a woman passenger appearing to be disoriented, lost and confused. There are so many laws being broken that he will probably throw the book at us. Traffic laws, safety rules, laws against nature, fashion violations not to mention all of the breaches of good judgement and conventional wisdom. We may never get out of jail. As the state trooper pulled up along side Ruffy, he asked if we were part of the Wild Hogs motorcycle gang. We noticed that the state trooper had the ensignia of the New Mexico Highway Patrol. The officer then started telling us how he had been stalking..... I mean tracking the Wild Hog gang all the way from Madris, New Mexico and got very close right before he lost thier trail in Nashville. But, when he saw those pink chaps he just knew that he had found them again. He did not seem concerned with any laws that we might have broken he seemed more interested in gazing into Ruffy's eyes, batting his eyelashes and winking.The trooper then starting going on and on to Ruffy about it being hot and if we knew a secluded private lake where we could all go skinny dipping to cool off. Dragonslayer could not stand it anymore all the blinking and winking and batting eyelashes and the inuendo and double ontondrayies. So he got up in the troopers face to defend Ruffy's honor. He raised his helmet visor and stared into the troopers eyes being sure not to blink or wink. Then he said in a loud clear voice... "Hey Winky back off..... Your out of your jurisdiction..........Ruffy don't roll that way and has no interest in seeing your junk or probing your trunk." " If you don't get back on your mini-bike Hardly and ride off I will unsheath my sword and slay you like a Dragon" With that the trooper stumbled backwards a couple of steps bumping into his bike. He then threw one leg over the saddle, cranked his bike and pulled off as fast as he could. Dragonslayer turned around facing the pack and said...................................... "and that little piggy went weee weee weee alllllllllllllllllllllllll the way home." Ruffy, wipeing a tear from his eye said "Thanks Slayer" With that and without another word being spoken they both knew that nothing else needed to be said and they would be friends and brother VRiders from that point on. Ruffy's concerns about the Dragonslayers intentions having been put to rest forever.
  21. It was true that the Dragonslayer had been following Ruffy for a long time. However following a lead rider in a group riding situation does not constitute stalking. As stunning as Ruffy was in his pink chaps, pink paisley bandanna and colorful new tattoos Ruffy was not the one that had drawn the Dragonslayer's armorous attention. Aussie Annie was the true object of his affections and the one that the Dragonslayer's curosity had been focused on ever since the pole dance routine and the black leather crutch holder pasties (which gave her a somewhat Madonna like appearence). He could not get Annie off his mind. However, knowing that Quickstep was Annie's intended Dragonslayer felt it was best to keep his inner most feelings to himself and not expose his deep admiration and regard for Annie and not let it show, being the southern gentleman he was. Dragonslayer had noticed Ruffy's stand-offishness and realized how his intentions might be misconstrued. With all the good natured ribbing he had been giving Ruffy about his pink outfit and tatooes and all. He certainely did not intend to hurt Ruffy's feelings or confuse him about the Dragonslayer's sexual orientation or intentions. He only said those things for fun. In retrospect, a poor attempt at humor. Some how he would have to put Ruffy's concerns at ease and rebuild thier friendship based on a truely heterosexual motorcycling comraderie. In fact he did consider Ruffy's rendition of the Rawhide theme song very Macho. It occurred to the Dragonslayer that it might be a good bridge building gesture to tell Ruffy so. So, he gave his bike the full throttle to catch up to Ruffy to pay him that compliment. Being on a 1st Gen, the Dragonslayer had no trouble catching up with him in just a second or two. In fact having to lock down on the brakes to keep from shooting past him like he was on a Harley sitting still.
  22. Welcome aboard
  23. Then as Ruffy pulled out of the DQ parking lot, sporting his pink chaps and healed roses, leading the pack, he began singing in a loud baritone voice so all could hear...... Rolling, Rolling, Rolling Get them Dawggies Rolling Raw Hideeeeeeeee In Rain and wind and weather Hell bent for leather Knowing them Dawggies by my side Head em up Move em in, Move em out He then pulled his sweat soaked pink paisley bandana from around his neck and snapped it hard into the air making a loud................... Swosh...Crack.....Kateeeeessssssseeeeeeeeeeeee sound as he cranked his throttle to full and raced down the entrance ramp to I-24 south. Merging into the freeway traffic at full speed we could still hear him singing over the sound of his engine and exhaust winding out in 5th gear Rawhideeeeeeeeeeeeeee. The rest of the pack gunned it to keep up with him. With smiles on our faces and the wind in our hair we were happy knowing that we were finally on our way heading south to Daytona for Biketoberfest. :dancefool: :7_6_3[1]::7_6_3[1]:
  24. Varooooooooooooooooom.....was heard across the countryside as all of the VRiders cranked there bikes in unison........................
  25. I believe there is a port of entry at Savannaha, Ga and Jacksonvile , FL. Oh I forgot Quickstep is flying over and renting a bike over here. I quess we should meet him at the airport but which one is he flying to. The last thing I remember we were in Nashville or somewhere's thereabout. Who's got the map?
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