wild hair 39 Posted December 23, 2010 Share #1 Posted December 23, 2010 Lovemaking Tips For Seniors http://f814.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=1%5f499086%5fAIjHjkQAAEg0TRKwjQOVXiPOwz8&pid=2.2&fid=Inbox&inline=1 . Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. 6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.. 8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...! . . . . . . . . . . . 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police . 'OLD' IS WHEN.. 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today. 'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.. 'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. 'OLD' IS WHEN... You're not sure if these are facts or jokes. (I sent this in large type so you can read it) lowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mini-muffin Posted December 23, 2010 Share #2 Posted December 23, 2010 So what are you trying to tell us Lowell? :rotf: Margaret Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted December 23, 2010 Share #3 Posted December 23, 2010 I'll just stay in my corner!! Too much effort to get out!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcarl Posted December 23, 2010 Share #4 Posted December 23, 2010 Old is when you read all that twice, and then can't remember if you're at the start or the finish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kregerdoodle Posted December 23, 2010 Share #5 Posted December 23, 2010 Huh??? now where was I ??? Old is when you read all that twice, and then can't remember if you're at the start or the finish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saddlebum Posted December 23, 2010 Share #6 Posted December 23, 2010 Lovemaking Tips For Seniors Pace yourself. . . .set your rythm to the chimes of the church bell P/S make sure there are no icecream or tool sharping trucks in the area :rotfl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dray Posted December 23, 2010 Share #7 Posted December 23, 2010 Pace yourself. . . .set your rythm to the chimes of the church bell P/S make sure there are no icecream or tool sharping trucks in the area :rotfl: He was fine till the Fire Truck went BY!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor Posted December 23, 2010 Share #8 Posted December 23, 2010 Old is when.......when.....er....what? Beware the church bells! It was noon and my ex wife and I had just arrived in Inverness, Scotland, and were in our third floor room directly across the street from a majestic old cathedral. We decided to celebrate our arrival by.....well...you know. Just at the appropriate (or inappropriate) moment the cathedral boomed out with a chorus of " Onward Christian Soldiers". We were both laughing so hard it was game over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Haywood Posted December 23, 2010 Share #9 Posted December 23, 2010 Old is when you read all that twice, and then can't remember if you're at the start or the finish. Hmmm I don't remember if I read it the first time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyinfool Posted December 23, 2010 Share #10 Posted December 23, 2010 hey! I resemble this post...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zooer Posted December 23, 2010 Share #11 Posted December 23, 2010 Anybody seen my pills, or remember where I live? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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