Snaggletooth Posted January 20, 2011 Share #1 Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) These next few posts were sent to me by one of my oldest friends, a 20 yr. Marine. Marine Rules 1.Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.' 7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life isexpensive. 8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.) 9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. 10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours. 11. Alwayscheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one in which you lose. 12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber,stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived. 13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot. Edited January 20, 2011 by Snaggletooth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share #2 Posted January 20, 2011 Navy SEALS’ Rules: 1. Look very cool in sunglasses. 2. Kill every living thing within view. 3. Adjust Speedo. 4. Check hair in mirror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share #3 Posted January 20, 2011 US Army Rangers’ Rules: 1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving. 2. Locate individuals requiring killing. 3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing. 4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted. 5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share #4 Posted January 20, 2011 US Army Rules: 1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order. 2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee. 3. Curse bitterly. 4. Curse bitterly. 5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed. 6. Curse bitterly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share #5 Posted January 20, 2011 US Air Force Rules: 1. Have a cocktail. 2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner. 3. See what's on HBO. 4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?' 5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation. 6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives. 7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets. 8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally. 9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time. 10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share #6 Posted January 20, 2011 US Navy Rules: 1. Go to Sea. 2. Drink Coffee. 3. Deploy Marines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel Posted January 20, 2011 Share #7 Posted January 20, 2011 Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamecock Posted January 20, 2011 Share #8 Posted January 20, 2011 And while all the other branches are "practicing" the COAST GUARD goes to work everyday! US Coast Guard...saving dumba**es since 1790! Semper Paratus...Always Ready! Ben Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubber Posted January 20, 2011 Share #9 Posted January 20, 2011 OH Boy! I hear them all lining up to fight about this one. I'll be over by my bowl minding my own business till the dust settles. Bubber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GolfVenture Posted January 20, 2011 Share #10 Posted January 20, 2011 Yep, thats why I joined the Air Force. Now where did I put that new putter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC89Venture Posted January 20, 2011 Share #11 Posted January 20, 2011 I will be safe and admire and respect every one of them. They all are my heroes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Horse Cowboy Posted January 20, 2011 Share #12 Posted January 20, 2011 Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when? I'm asking the same question as Mel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumboogy Posted January 20, 2011 Share #13 Posted January 20, 2011 Proudly served (prouder now than then) in the United States Navy. 1973-1977 Great Lakes, IL Boot Camp and Corpsman School Beaufort, SC Naval Hospital (and some duty at Parris Island) Oakland, CA Oaknoll Naval Hospital (Laboratory Tech Training) Charleston, SC Charleston Naval Hospital Yes, I drink coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.J. Posted January 20, 2011 Share #14 Posted January 20, 2011 Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when? Chances are he never came close nor has he had any family serving in our military. He doesn't have a clue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeZ06Allen Posted January 20, 2011 Share #15 Posted January 20, 2011 I concur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingy Posted January 20, 2011 Share #16 Posted January 20, 2011 The 1st & 6th post are so true it hurts from laughing so much !! OO-RAH Marine Corps Gary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted January 20, 2011 Share #17 Posted January 20, 2011 Fair is a place you go to play games!! US ARMY RECON!! I don't play games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarlS Posted January 21, 2011 Share #18 Posted January 21, 2011 I thought it was funny. Of course I was a Jar Head. :rotf::rotf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OB-1 Posted January 21, 2011 Share #19 Posted January 21, 2011 What's the difference between the Air Force and the Boy Scouts? The Boy Scouts have adult leaders and Air Force has better toys. Boy Scouts of America: 68-75 U.S. Air Force: 75-84 USAF Contractor: 85-86 Civilian: 87 to present Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w.steve wells Posted January 21, 2011 Share #20 Posted January 21, 2011 air force 1974-1980 was proud to do so then and respect those that do so now:bobby: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuddyRich Posted January 21, 2011 Share #21 Posted January 21, 2011 I was just gonna add. USAF "Don't jump outta perfectly good airplanes" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingy Posted January 21, 2011 Share #22 Posted January 21, 2011 This will irritate a couple of previous posters, tough turds. I will preface this with a little background: ! helped bury a second cousin who had half his face blown off in Afghanistan last year. I had an uncle killed in WWII in Europe that was a pilot. I have a very close cousin who served on the carrier Kennedy during Vietnam. My brother was in the navy in submarines His son was a tail boomer on a CK130 and flew in several conflicts. Another niece was an Air Force officer, a nephew an Air Force Sergent. I was in the USMC during Vietnam. I do have a little bit of military background with the previous history. What is your point in questioning if the original poster was in the military. He prefaced the first post by saying it was from a close friend that served with the Marines. Obviously, the post was Marine oriented. But it was still a joke. Some of the jokes were somewhat close to the truth though. But then I am biased. Do you have to be a democrat to tell Obama jokes? Do you have to be gay to tell gay jokes? Just because someone that doesn't have a military service icon in their listing doesn't mean they didn't serve in some form or have a family member who did. There are some that don't want to remember what they went through. Do you get my point yet. Gary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmoffitt Posted January 21, 2011 Share #23 Posted January 21, 2011 USAF 1993-present. VERY proud and honored to be allowed to serve the greatest country in the world. I'd like to make a few points: 1. Many probably don't know how much those of us in the services that don't see much of the direct action on the front lines truly respect those that do. 2. Most jokes about the AF (and other services for that matter) hit pretty close to home sometimes 3. In reference to number 1 & 2, recent history has seen MANY more AF members serving in non-traditional AF roles. For example, my good friend just got back and he was station with an Army contingent often leading convoys or a gunner in the convoy. I've hear more and more instances of this lately...so some members may take those jokes more personally than others because their experience. I personally take the jokes very well because I know the contribution I make and it matters very little to me what others think... I'm a proud American, a proud AF member, a proud Father and a proud Christian...what more could I want from life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snaggletooth Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share #24 Posted January 21, 2011 Just wondering. What branch of our military were you in and when? For those of you that asked that question........what does it matter? But to answer it, no, I have never served in the Armed Forces. First of all it was clearly stated in the opening sentence "From a 20 yr. Marine" and of all the silly places to post it.....in the Humor Forum. I have to ask what upstanding Marine would pass a chance to take a dig at the other branches of the Armed Forces? I don't get it? Yeah right. Dad was a hardcore Navy, Uncle was career Army, neighbor next door was a lifer Marine and his son, the 20 year Marine was the one that sent these posts to me. Been around military folks all my life. I get it! When I shared meals with my friend, his Dad, his family....Grace always ended with Amen, Semper Fi. That taught me that his family was much larger than the table we were sitting at. How can you not respect that? So with that said.....try to laugh once in while. Or if it chaps that bad, try a lil less starch in your skivies. It's called humor folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art708 Posted January 21, 2011 Share #25 Posted January 21, 2011 I'm retired Navy and I took it in the context that it was written....it's funny stuff. Lighten up guys and laugh , it's good for you. I spent time with the Navy and more time as a Marine FMF corpsman. It gave me a lot of laughs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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