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Mike got a dreaded call tonight. His Mom called to tell him that his Dad has had a bad stroke and is in ICU in Atlanta. Apparently he's been in the hospital since fri, but she only decided tonight to call us, since we raised hell abt not telling us abt bypass surgery 4 yrs ago. We plan to see him tomorrow and find out what's going on. Hopefully it's better than his Mom is making it out to be. Keep him in your thoughts as he processes this.

 

Regards,

Tricia

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Here's what we know, Mike's dad knows us, cries when he's happy, combative when he isn't, can't talk well, and uses whatever language he has floating through his head at that moment. Every time he wakes up it's like everything is new to him. Talked to 2 of his doctors, he should be able to go home eventually, but he will need to go to rehab 1st, for several weeks, it's an unknown future right now. I'm beyond livid that his parents fear of doctors and western medicine caused this perfect storms that caused clots and strokes in his heart and brain. Nothing to do now but move forward, but I really want to scream at Mike's mother for this. Noone should have to live this way. This was entirely manageable before the clots and stroke.

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Here at the hospital again as I have been since getting the news. Mike's Dad had a good day yesterday given I'm only here about 4hrs a day. He fights the staff in the mornings before I get here so they are keeping him mostly sedated. For me he takes his meds and he allowed me to arrange him a sponge bath today. I can't confirm yet, but I suspect the sedatives are leaving him more confused and scared than helping. I just know the nurses love me, when I'm not here he refuses everything, I get him to take his meds. The nurse just ran off to grab something because I'm leaving shortly to head home. Yay, 3hour drive ahead. Thanks to those who offered prayers it means a lot to Mike and me.

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Mike and I visited his Dad on Monday, it started off a good visit, then between the speech therapist and physical therapist coming in, Mike's Dad wanting to walk to the bathroom, things went south. He demanded I take him home. When I refused, Zoran yelled at me to leave and threatened to hit me. Mike tried to talk to his Dad and calm him down, when that didn't work Mike told him we were leaving and not coming back until he could treat me respectfully. Some will say oh that's the stroke making him act that way. I wish, nope he had been a verbal bully who would resort to fists when he isn't feeling like he's being heard. I dunno what the family will do. The hospital is keeping him drugged on haldol, but to me that's no way to live. I suppose he will go to a nursing home because I can't take care of him if he wants to fight. I just wish there was another way.

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Sorry to hear of this, I agree with Mike on your last statement. There's no way I would tolerate any of my parents or anyone treating my wife or family that way, drugged or not. I hope he works his way through this.

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Mike and his mother both agreed that I'm not to go to the hospital alone anymore given the drive and not knowing how Mike's dad will act once I get there. Haven't felt great this week so been staying home and taking care of errands.

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Sorry to hear this news of Mike's Dad. It's unfortunate at times one must deal with these types of situations. Do take care of your own health Patricia as we surely don't want you having health problems from added stress.

Larry

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the mans in pain and thrashing out, and or Fear, let that blow over. we all go into a protected charge, when we're upset. Just like this wonder place we get to call home.

WE are family, we will get through this all together. it may be hard right now, but lower your guards, and help the man. ( regrets will last a life time )

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Sorry to hear this news of Mike's Dad. It's unfortunate at times one must deal with these types of situations. Do take care of your own health Patricia as we surely don't want you having health problems from added stress.

Larry

Larry, I'm just tired from all the driving back and forth, driving 3 hrs straight with no stops isn't my forte. I may drive around town running errands all day, but it's not the same thing. I also hurt my shoulder and neck sleeping in a crumpled heap last week, no worries, the chiropractor is getting me back on the mend. Mike has me staying home to rest for a few days, before we see his Dad again next weekend. Yeah, this is hard for Mike to deal with, seeing his Dad sick, but maybe something good will come from this.

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the mans in pain and thrashing out, and or Fear, let that blow over. we all go into a protected charge, when we're upset. Just like this wonder place we get to call home.

WE are family, we will get through this all together. it may be hard right now, but lower your guards, and help the man. ( regrets will last a life time )

I understand my father in law's fear with the results of his stroke. But the bullying and threats were normal part of him before the stroke. It's not something new. I just made sure years ago that he knew if he hit me I would file charges. Yelling I can take, I grew up with a Dad similar to him. It upsets me but it's his anger, his problem. Mike, his mom, and others are worried that his Dad could lose control and seriously injure me or someone else. Little things always set him off and now, there's no predicting what will set off Mike's Dad, kinda like Monday, there was no warning that he would start yelling. It wasn't the 1st time he's asked me to take him home. And I refused to lie to him. I was honest, I have no where at this time to put him. He blew up over that. His behavior sadly made Mike and his Mom reconsider moving him back home or in with us. Mike will do his best to visit his Dad regularly. There are never easy answers.

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