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Showing results for tags 'oven'.
Found 5 results
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My son just informed us that we're going to be grand parents ! They went to the ER to get a wrist X-ray and found out she has one in the oven. I guess now I'll be able to justify all this grey hair .
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Fragments of grunt: Guys, are you married to a shine freak?? If you are then nothing is safe. And you know what im talking about. 32 1/2 years ago I married a wonderful woman. She can cook, ride a bike, drive her own hot rod, etc. What I didnt realize then but found out soon enough was that she was a shine freak. NOTHING IS SAFE AROUND HER!! Put your newspaper down to get a drink and in less time then it takes to pass wind its in the recycling bin. WHY?? Because you were foolish to leave it. Eat food in the living room and set it down...its assumed that you are finished with it and it magically disappears in one fell swoop. Never mind the plate is still about 1/2 full. Make sure you have enough ketchup and drink by your side so you can protect your well earned meal from invaders by not leaving it alone for a minute (or less) I swear she gets faster with age. Now you ask, just how does this apply to dirty dogs and extra screws? It does in its own weird way. See, if you werent married to a shine freak, you wouldnt be waken from a sound vicoden induced sleep on your first day off to give two great danes a bath. Oh joy!! About the time you finish FedEx arrives with a package and you shudder!!! Was it something that I bought for the bike and never told her??? NO, its the replacement oven door glass that was shattered no doubt caused in part to its excessive cleaning regiment. I thought it would take a week to get here and id be safe.noooo, the part was ordered on Sunday and it flies here in a rush, just to make me do more work caused by excessive cleaning. Screws you say and how the fit in here? OK men, we all have at one time or another had a few leftover screws/bolts, even parts when we put the bikes back together. Well this theory also applies to oven doors. You tape over the shattered glass to take it out in one piece, remove the 16 screws that hold various parts in place, meticulously clean all the parts of old grease because you fear "She Who Must Be Kept", (who is out shopping at this time, Yea thats another story for another time). Proudly clean up the work area (Kitchen counter) and discover 2 screws laying under the door. Hmmmmm. So you patiently take it all apart again and discover the location of your missing screws and put it all back together nicely again. She comes home.....proclaims the area a mess (even after the thorough cleaning you just gave it) You hide, quaking in fear......And after all that work you feel that a nice home cooked meal in that oven would be nice. WRONG.....she wants to go out to dinner..no way is the oven getting messed up by greasy meat substances. You sigh.....she says what did you say?? I say sweetie, lets go out to Texas Roadhouse tonight. And all is well again. Moral of this story: were wimps....and if she sees this then im hoping Boomer has a spare female pygmy I can run away with because both of my legs will be cut off at the knees.
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*This is priceless - would love to do this.* One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE! I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!!!
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When inviting friends over for dinner, and if you cleaned your oven that afternoon, Miz Manners suggests having an ample supply of wine available prior to dinner, AND make sure the oven still works after cleaning it... We won't mention whose house we went to diner at!
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Just giving everyone a heads up that I will be hit and miss on the forum . Especially for those whom have been PMing me and it taking me a while to answer . It's just been so , so , so , so DARN busy with all that I have been doing . As soon as I get back to normal .....NOT ! I'll be back to pestering you all . BEER30 P.S. Grand-baby #2 baking in the oven !
