Trader Posted April 16, 2013 Share #1 Posted April 16, 2013 For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this . For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humour. RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was ' Always'. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!". Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aspen60 Posted April 16, 2013 Share #2 Posted April 16, 2013 Thank you for the humor, just what i needed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard B Posted April 16, 2013 Share #3 Posted April 16, 2013 There is a show in Branson, Mo. where a man ( forgotten his name ) goes on stage and commences to apply make-up and costumes and makes himself "Red Skelton". He knew skelton when he was alive and knows his widow. She gave him permission to create a show mimicking Red Skelton. It is one fantastic show and will have you rolling on the floor laughing. I highly recommend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dueyk1111 Posted April 17, 2013 Share #4 Posted April 17, 2013 Wonderful comedian, loved him as a kid grow'n' up! have a bunch of his shows on vcr tapes! they sure broke the mold after they made him!:thumbsup2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarlS Posted April 17, 2013 Share #5 Posted April 17, 2013 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was ' Always' Still one of my favorites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted April 17, 2013 Share #6 Posted April 17, 2013 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was ' Always' Still one of my favorites. I got her sister. Thank god she don't read this often!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDunc Posted April 17, 2013 Share #7 Posted April 17, 2013 Yes I'm old enough. And yes I think he was one pf the most intelligent comedians that there has been. Look up on you tube his rendition of the pledge of allegiance. The best!!! Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcarl Posted April 17, 2013 Share #8 Posted April 17, 2013 Thanks Steve, that was good to remember. Yes, humor can be had without the s word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted April 17, 2013 Share #9 Posted April 17, 2013 Red was GREAT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yamamike Posted April 17, 2013 Share #10 Posted April 17, 2013 Truly one of a very select few. BTW Dan...he still is GREAT!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDbiker Posted April 17, 2013 Share #11 Posted April 17, 2013 There is a show in Branson, Mo. where a man ( forgotten his name ) goes on stage and commences to apply make-up and costumes and makes himself "Red Skelton". He knew skelton when he was alive and knows his widow. She gave him permission to create a show mimicking Red Skelton. It is one fantastic show and will have you rolling on the floor laughing. I highly recommend it. I believe you're talking about Tom Mullica... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howard B Posted April 17, 2013 Share #12 Posted April 17, 2013 You could be right , it's been a few years since we were there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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