Lutherans

[rod]

From my Minnee Sota cousin Mark (also a Lutrin). Mark's Introduction

follows:

 

Those of you who are Lutheran will relate to this quite quickly. To those

of you who are not Lutheran, perhaps consider this as a User's Manual on

how to interpret the behaviors of a Lutheran, present company included.

Throw in a good bit of Scandinavian background in addition to being

Lutheran and it explains the preference for all things bland.

 

Uff Dah!

 

SINGING WITH THE LUTHERANS

by Garrison Keillor

 

I have made fun of Lutherans for years - who wouldn't, if you lived in

Minnesota? But I have also sung with Lutherans, and that is one of the

main joys of life, along with hot baths and fresh sweet corn.

 

We make fun of Lutherans for their blandness, their excessive calm, their

fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret

fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like they do.

 

If you ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Lutheranless place,

to sing along on the chorus of 'Michael Row the Boat Ashore', they will

look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear.

But if you do this among Lutherans they'll smile and row that boat

ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!

 

Lutherans are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony. It's a

talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or

tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little

head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Lutherans to sing

in harmony. We're too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in

unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th

and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling

moment.

 

I once sang the bass line of Children of the Heavenly Father in a room

with about three thousand Lutherans in it; and when we finished, we all

had tears in our eyes, partly from the promise that God will not forsake

us, partly from the proximity of all those lovely voices. By our joining

in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

 

I do believe this: These Lutherans are the sort of people you could call

up when you're in deep distress. If you're dying, they'll comfort you.

If you're lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you're hungry, they'll

give you tuna salad!

 

The following list was compiled by a 20th century Lutheran who,

observing other Lutherans, wrote down exactly what he saw or heard:

 

1. Lutherans believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to

pray out loud.

 

2. Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a

hymn with more than four stanzas.

 

3. Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even

if they don't notify them that they are there.

 

4. Lutherans usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is

their way of suffering for their sins.

 

5. Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially

during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

 

6. Lutherans feel that applauding for their children's choirs would make

the kids too proud and conceited.

 

7. Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle

while passing the peace.

 

8. Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament..

 

9. Some Lutherans still believe that an ELCA bride and an LC-MS groom

make for a mixed marriage. (For those of you who are not Lutherans,

ELCA is Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and LC-MS is Lutheran

Church-Missouri Synod, two different divisions of the same Protestant

religion. And when and where I grew up in Minnesota, intermarriage

between the two was about as popular as Lutherans and Catholics

marrying.)

 

10. Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own

wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

 

11. Lutherans are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

 

12. Lutherans think that Garrison Keillor stories are totally factual.

 

13. Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the

season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole add a little too

much color.

 

14. Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never

take themselves too seriously.

 

And finally, you know you're a Lutheran when:

 

*It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the

service;

 

*You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as

you can;

 

*Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee;

 

*The communion cabinet is open to all, but the coffee cabinet is locked

up tight;

 

*When you watch a 'Star Wars' movie and they say, 'May the Force be with

you', you respond, 'and also with you';

 

*And, lastly, it takes 15 minutes to say, 'Good-bye'.

 

May you wake each day with His blessings,

 

Sleep each night in His keeping,

 

And always walk in His tender care.

[Marcarl]

Almost sounds Dutch to me!!!! Yep, grew up with most of those things. Not Lutheran, but CRC,(Christian Reformed Church). Some really good things to have in life. Funny how we can be so much alike, and yet not communicate together. That's changing a little today I think. Maybe some good in that.

[PBJ]

Sweet thoughts you guys warmed my heart. Made me smile.

[Iowawegian]

:rotfl:

 

Being Lutrin, (ELC!), Scandanavian (thus the name Iowawegian) and also live 5 miles south of the Minnesota border.....

I truly live this life.

Not to mention, I love Garrison Keillor!!

 

Hate to admit it....but anytime I head south (and I mean just a couple hours)...it never fails, strangers ask if I came from Norway or Minnesota with my Scandanavian accent!

[rod]

You betch for sur we know the common thread. ufda fer sue Rod