Nemo Posted January 18, 2010 Share #1 Posted January 18, 2010 Birthdays are good for you! The more you have, the longer you live!!! Old age comes at a very bad time!!! It ain't the Age - It's the mileage!!! Any day above ground is a good one!!! It's not that I'm afraid to die - It's just that I don't want to be around when it happens!!! The more you complain, the longer God makes you live!!! If I knew I'd live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself!!! RETIREMENT: Twice as much Husband - Half as much Money!!! But then, my Wife always gives me sound advice - 99% sound -- 1% advice!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor Posted January 19, 2010 Share #2 Posted January 19, 2010 " Young enough to do it again, old enough to do it better!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingy Posted January 19, 2010 Share #3 Posted January 19, 2010 Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live. Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt." Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out. Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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