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Strange close calls


PITBULL

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Few years back I was motoring along on my old chop Thru some fairly heavy rush hour traffic. I guess fortunately for me the stereotype of a heavily tattooed longhair riding a very loud chopper with aprhangers kept people at a bit of a distance, The fortune part of that was that whilest I was moving along and minding my own business..scaring old ladies and deafening people:whistling: A wasp decided that my armpit looked like a nice place to die, because as soon as it started stinging the snot outta me I qucikly smashed the guts outta it with my other hand. That caused a bit of a wobble :rotf:. So I pulled over to see what the hell happened and thats when I found a smashed up wasp in my armpit. Lemme tell ya something...That HURTS

 

* OK another quick bug story. Come to think of it I was on the same bike and pretty close to the same area. Again just toolin' along minding my own business with my soon to be wife on the back. I just saw it for a split second. Maybe less. A streak of black, headed right at me from about a 45 degree from the right. No time to move. POW! right under my bottom lip. I tasted guts. Kinda crunchy. Spit it out and kept going. Mom asked if I was ok as she never saw the bug she just saw my head snap back like someone smacked me. Well when we get to the house she looks at me and says "WTF?" This beetle was still stuck INSIDE my chin. Well half of it anyway. Over the course of the next 2 days we spent alot of time with the tweezers digging this little sucker out. I'll spare ya the gross details of the minor infection I got from it LOL

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Had a great run on the Madura over the Malahat and was heading down a winding side road to catch the ferry back home. Came around a corner going fast and right on the line, a drop off on one side and a rock wall on the other;

Instantaneous thoughts

1. Sh*t, had a great run and now I am going to wipe out on a stupid black dog.

2. Big black dog.

3. Realy big black dog!

4. Big black bear!!!!!

5. Man! Is he ever going to be pissed off when I hit him!

Fortunately the bear heard me coming and shifted his ass to face me which just gve me enough room to whip past.

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Years ago, riding two up on a Yamaha XS650 going up the mountians in Cali toward Big Bear,, I heard a screaching sound, it stopped and then I heard it again louder.. As I approached the next corner, a left, I saw an exit to an overlook parking lot on the right and not knowing what the screaching sound was I moved to the right and started to head into the parking lot. Just then an MGB convertible came flying around the corner from the other direction sideways completly in my lane. I was halfway off the road going into the lot when the rear end of the MGB swung by and took off my left rear turnsignal. My passenger ended up with a small bruise on her left calf.

 

Had I not been going toward the parking lot it could have be very bad for me. Had I been in my truck with a full camper I owned back then, it could have been very bad for the driver of the MGB.

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was riding slow (thankfully) down a little hill and around a corner when 2 VULTURES dropped out of a tree, one of them in my face so close I could have snatched tail feathers!

 

Maybe they were looking for a meal?

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I guess the strangest is when a white owl flew up from next to the road out of some tall grass one night. Just enough time to duck under the windshield. Don't know if he made it or not as I did hear and feel something hit the windshield but there weren't any scratches on it. Or the time a deer ran in front of me but changed directions just in time. I had gotten slowed down but we were close enough that I could hear her hoofs clattering on the asphalt trying to get traction.

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Riding home from work up near San Jose, I had a full face helmet and it DOES get hot up there in the late spring. I was only doing about 55 and it started to heat up in the helmet so I lifted the visor for some air.

 

I remember seeing a "dot" in the air and at that same time I felt like I had been hit by a 2X4... square between my eyes. My eyes immediately started watering, the pain wasn't too much fun, but I couldn't SEE!

 

I was grabbing gears, downshifting and easing it over to the side of the road. I'm dragging my feet, feeling the road and then feeling gravel. I drag it to a halt, get off and try and jerk the helmet off but it doesn't want to go.

 

I grab some towels out of the tool box and wipe my eyes but there is a nasty "barb" or something at the bridge of my nose and that whole area is swelling up fast. I finally got my eyes clear enough to look in the mirror and there sits the stinger and the hind end of a bumble bee. It must have been going the same direction as me, just not fast enough... so it nailed me. My eyes were starting to swell shut and I had a thought of "Can I get home before I can't see...?"

 

I just parked the bike on the side, tried to pluck ALL of the stinger and stuff out and flagged down a ride for the last 1/2 mile home... I was THAT close.

 

I got the helmet off an it only took a couple hours for the swelling to go down a bit so I could see again... A couple more hours and I got a ride back up the road to get the bike. That "not being able to see" stuff kinda messes with your sense of well being!

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