Going to be a rough night..............

[Nighthawk II]

Gene, Due to my job working for Norfolk Southern at an outlying point, a part of my job is to go to and inspect rail crossing accidents. It is a terrible scene when the ones involved are children. It is never easy and it never gets easier each time I go out there to a situation like that. Each time I go out there I wonder if it's someone I know. For days each time I close my eyes I have the vision of whats happened jump into my thoughts. I usually have several nights without much sleep until i'm just too tired to fight it. Sleep overcomes the visions is the only way I can describe it. They never completely go away. My thoughts and prayers are with you for a restful night.

[Evan]

--- I don't lean on shoulders much , but this is really eating at me at it involved a child and hopefully letting this out might get some of it off my chest. Thanks for lending me your ear. BEER30

Beer, your story is gut wrenching and I'm glad you had this place to "let it out" a bit. Like others have said, your actions spoke loudly. Your story reminds me of a personal experience. I wanted to console a friend who lost his beautiful teenage daughter to a reckless driver. I told him that I couldn't find the right words. He said that just being there mattered more than words to him.

[Candy948]

please let me say to you thanks so much for aiding my dear friend Eric .He was on his way to my house that night . We have Chorkie puppies and Dear baby James had fallen in love with the little boy and was begging to come see it again . They are still too little to leave the mother. This man has had to face so much in his young life . Three years ago his beloved wife killed herself in front of the then two year old James . Eric was on stage with Dixie driver playing the Tar heel when he was told . James was he's world and he was a very devoted father. Right now I know that he is still in shock . I'm really afraid of when it really hits . At the services Wednesday was the hardest thing that I've ever faced . In fact I'm not sure that it's really hit us just ever. I keep waiting for their visits . They would come to my house at least three times a week . Beer30 please e-mail me candy948@gmail.com .

 

Thanks

Candy:95:

[Iowawegian]

Prayers go out to you Beer30 and also to you Candy and your friend Eric. Words can't express the sadness that we all feel after reading this. My heart goes out to all of you.

Deb

[Bobby G]

So sorry you had this experience Gene, but having had a very similar one about 7 years ago, I can tell you first hand that you were meant to be there for a reason. You might not grasp the full reality of what this is for a long time, but you will.

 

(For some perspective, here's my story - - I swerved to avoid a head on collision, and as a result the car behind me caught the direct hit and the teenage driver was killed instantly. The driver of the oncoming car, and male in his 20's, was trapped in his car and eventually died from his injuries. I worked for 10 or 15 minutes to free him but to no avail. I was crying and screaming the whole time. I'm sure I was in total shock. I'm alive and that little girl is gone, and for years I've labored over whether I could have survived it in my larger truck than she could have in her little Honda.)

 

Anyway, continue to talk it out, and I also suggest that you write about it in a journal of some kind. This kind of experience can and will really shake you up for awhile. Anyway you cut it, it's trauma, and like all traumas, you have to take it very seriously and get the help you need to get through it. EMT's and emergency personnel are trained in this stuff, and most still suffer from occasional trauma and need to be treated.

 

All good thoughts coming your way, and I hope you get right with this soon. It certainly does put one's life in perspective, doesn't it?

 

God bless.....

 

Bobby

[Guest Tinman]

I know you're in real pain now, and it will take time to adjust, but I am so glad you had the guts and fore site to realize what the scene would have done to the father. Listen to all these good people, and seek help if there is the smallest hint you might need it.

The images never go away, but the stress will fade in time.

 

Feel free to e-mail me if you think you need a stranger to talk to.

[BEER30]

Once again, Thank you to everyone for your support. Both here on the forum , PM's and e-mails. You are true family! I'm doing quiet well now and keeping myself pretty occupied.........Like I'm never busy doing something...LOL. Spirits are getting back to almost normal, so watch out for my mischief behaviors coming soon. I know that these memories will come back, but so will others that were worse than this incident.

Candy.............I will e-mail you as soon as I finish this post and give you my contact info. for you to call upon me at any time. I have already responded to Ashely' e-mail and hope she received it. There is something that bothers me that the JPD did not want my statement or contact info.. I was 2nd at the scene, did not witness the accident, but I believe I that I had at least some info. that might help out. You may have seen what I had posted on the blog @ JDnews. As I stated on the blog, I can only bare witness to what I seen from the time I arrive to where I departed. I could care less of the boys past, I can only testify to what I observed at the time of the accident in the company of Eric. I said it before and I stand by my words that I did not smell alcohol. I couldn't get any more closer to Eric's face than any body else there till the officials arrived. Though many on that blog have already turned vigilantie towards Eric cause of his past. I will not judge this man's innocence nor guilt until all the facts are put forth. This is what bothers me the most now as cowardly people behind the keyboard judge the man before the facts are out.

Sorry people for me ranting. I just had to say what was and is on my mind.

Well need to go, E-mail Candy, then get the boat ready as we have received 29" of rain since Monday with 5" more to come by mourning. Row, Row, Row , your Boat. Gently down the stream ......or is now my front yard?

 

BEER30

[Nighthawk II]

Glad to hear that you are dealing well with this. Don't worry about the rant. You feel the need to talk and we are here for you. Is the water in your yard deep enough for fishin? Maybe Charlie can give you some hints on shallow water casting. Still sending them up for you.

[MikeWa]

This was a very traumatic event for those directly involved and for you. I know we men are tough and just get over things but seek out a grief counselor and talk to him for an hour. It will be time well spent. The local PD should be able to direct you.

Mike

[Zfrebird4]

Asking the good Lord to help settle you mind from what you saw, center on what you did that you had to do, and did so well.

 

Celebration ... that you were there, as you probably kept any options for future value to life in the father alive. Had he seen what you saw, he just might have snapped totally.

 

I've had some tough funerals to do as clergy, but no scene like what you entered. You have my love for you for what you are that enabled you to do what you do and did at the scene. Yep, my friend of this site, keep talking out, and living as full as you can.

 

Hope the bass in your yard do grow so much due to the rain that they threaten the foundation of the house! Good you have a boat! Take care during this time of Tramma and the intense rain that's hitting the region.

 

And call any of us at any time, Gene. We are all here for you as we all know you are for all of us! Prayers and a hug.

 

Jack Tharp

Ft Collins, CO

Cell Phone: 970-402-7375

[DONATALIE]

Gene,

I'm a little confused too, about why the local PD doesn't want to take a statement from you. I've been an accident reconstructionist for going on two decades. I am currently working on three fatality crashes. On EVERY one I've ever done, I try to get a statement from every person who had contact with any party involved in the crash for the previous 24 hours, at a minimum. This is the universal standard taught in reconstruction training, which is by the way, very intense. I realize that you did not witness the crash, but your statement would still have value to my investigation. If nothing else, I would want to document that you came upon it after the dust settled and didn't actually see it. I would also want you to walk me through everything that you did while you were there, and then document that. Got me scratching my head on that one. Finally I, like you, try not to judge others, especially when I wasn't there. However, I did want to point out that it is possible for someone to be under the influence of alcohol without emmitting an alcoholic beverage odor. Almost every alcoholic beverage has something called conginers in it. They are added by the distillers/brewers for aroma and flavor. These conginers are what create the smell on the breath of someone who has been drinking them. However, not all liquors have it. Vodka, grain alcohol, and of course, the "home made" stuff are good examples of non-conginer alcohols. If someone were drinking those types of drinks, you probably wouldn't detect the odor.

Glad to hear you're doing better. Good luck with the water down there. Don

Edited October 1, 2010 by DONATALIE

[SaltyDawg]

Dang Gene I just read this. I don't know what to say. It's a tragedy that this happened, but the good Lord had you passing by at the right time to comfort the father.

 

I feel dumb for not talking to you about it when I called yesterday evening checking on you and Becky about the flooding situation down there. I honestly didn't know. If you need someone to talk to let me know. I listen real well.

 

If the father was under the influence of anything then he deserves to be charged. I know it's hard to consider charges against someone after such a tragedy but that child didn't do anything wrong and he paid for his fathers indiscretions.

 

I hope sleep comes easier to you soon.

 

Wayne

[BEER30]

Dang Gene I just read this. I don't know what to say. It's a tragedy that this happened, but the good Lord had you passing by at the right time to comfort the father.

 

I feel dumb for not talking to you about it when I called yesterday evening checking on you and Becky about the flooding situation down there. I honestly didn't know. If you need someone to talk to let me know. I listen real well.

 

If the father was under the influence of anything then he deserves to be charged. I know it's hard to consider charges against someone after such a tragedy but that child didn't do anything wrong and he paid for his fathers indiscretions.

 

I hope sleep comes easier to you soon.

 

Wayne

 

Thanks Salty. But before anyone jumps to conclusions, let the facts come out first. And yes , we floated home. But the squirrels had to climb a few branches higher so their nuts would be dryer!

 

Don, It's nice to know that there is a system out there. Just do not understand why there are those whom do not follow it.

 

BEER30