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His Shadow and Substance


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My dad passed many, many years ago but I still think of him often. On the day of his passing, a friend gave me a piece of paper with this written on it. I have carried it every since and would like to share.

 

SHADOW AND SUBSTANCE

When I was a child, my father sometimes took me for walks in the late afternoon. We would wander down through the pasture, not hurrying. He would tell me the names of the trees, point out birds nest so well hidden that the careless eye would never see it. Sometimes, if the day was uncommonly warm, he would say to me, “Walk in my shadow. I’ll be your shade.”

Even now, I recall how good it was to be a child, exploring the fields, becoming aware of the natural order of life, watching the miracles of the changing seasons, safe in his shadow, protected by the shade he provided me.

One day we discovered that I had grown too tall to fit into his shadow. We didn’t speak of it. We just both knew that the time had come for us to walk side by side, each casting his own shadow.

Later still, I came to understand that the shadow of my father was as it was because the man who cast it was who he was: big enough, strong enough, wise enough to be my shelter till I was sufficiently strong to step outside and walk my own way.

My father gave me the best of himself, his shadow and his substance.

Today, I took my own son walking through those same fields. When we stopped, I noticed that he stepped closer, letting my shadow cover his small head. In a moment I felt the pangs of sweet memory, the quick flash of pride, and the fear of my own uncertainty of this life. All these in a blink so that I could not tell which was first or last.

As I stood there, I felt, ever so softly, a familiar touch on my shoulder. The touch which, for so long, urged me forward or turned me aside. I didn’t look, for I knew that touch and from where it came deep inside me. In that same instant I knew that my father was still there, urging me forward, guiding my hand and words.

For I am my father’s shadow and his substance.

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