VentureRider.Org Jake Wilson  

Home Venture History Classifieds Links VRAwards VRPhotos VRChat VRStore Donate
Go Back   VentureRider.Org > General Discussion > Jokes and Humor

User's Login
User Name
Remember Me?
Mini Stats
Members 12,851 Entries 0
Members Entries
Threads 52,699 Reviews 0
Threads Reviews
Posts 628,014 Polls 46
Posts Polls
Content 0 Files 0
Content Files
Links 64 Ads 0
Links Ads
Old 02-10-2011, 01:45 PM
jburrell's Avatar
jburrell jburrell is offline
99 RSV
jburrell has a Profile Picture
Supporting Member

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Find jburrell on Google Maps! tomball
Default Church

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear."

One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew
but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer,
the little one called loudly to the congregation,
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"

One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets

as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

Little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination,

looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible.He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered,
"It's Adam's suit".

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike,
and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform,
jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side,
getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old brother, Joel , were sitting together in church. joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door?
They're hushers."

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked ,
"Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo, while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?"You're both old," he replied.

The ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother,
was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking,
"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin ?"

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was.
Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to jburrell For This Useful Post:
Old 02-10-2011, 07:12 PM
Redneck's Avatar
Redneck Redneck is offline
2001 Rsv 06 heritage st
Supporting Member

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Find Redneck on Google Maps! odessa


Reply With Quote
Old 02-11-2011, 07:54 AM
Grandpagak's Avatar
Grandpagak Grandpagak is offline
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Find Grandpagak on Google Maps! laporte,

:r otf:
The Lord did not promise that life would be easy, but he did promise to go with you every step of the way!!!
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Westboro Baptist Church flb_78 Watering Hole 19 11-02-2007 07:35 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:48 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2004