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Almost lost my best little friend and riding buddy


Pasta Burner

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We’ve all been affected by Covid in different ways.  Some have contracted it and fought it or have been lost to it.  Others have been the family and friends standing by as a loved one fought or fights the infection.  Then there are those of us who have witnessed and or experienced the depression of being in fear of contracting Covid and being isolated for over a year.  Since about November my 16yo step daughter whom I’ve raised since age six has been on anti depressants and seeing her dr. for unprecedented seclusion and depression.  While some days were better than others she didn’t seem to be getting better and very early this past Friday morning around 1:30am she successfully and severely overdosed on acetaminophen.  About 8:00am after I had been at work for two hours she came to her mom and cryingly expressed that she was so very sorry and told her what she had done. The kid then proceeded to vomit and my wife called me and we all met at the ER some ten minutes later.  After some tests they said a high level overdose on their scale would be a count of 70 four hours after ingestion, we were about eight hours after ingestion and her count was still well over 100.  She got out on an antidote and transferred to Children’s hospital for the over 20 hr treatment, then admitted to an impatient mental health facility.  After dropping her off there like a little criminal I balled like a baby all night and the next morning, the inpatient facility was like juvenile hall rather than a hospital.  She’s a good kid with zero addiction or substance abuse history.  We busted her out on Sunday and has been glued to one of us at all times and is much happier to be home.  She’ll be starting outpatient therapy next week.  Sometimes you take for granted what you have until you’re faced direct in the eye what you love the most could be gone in an instant.  We haven’t been out for a ride yet since she’s been home but maybe tomorrow.  She’s all up for it now, but before Friday I hadn’t gotten her on all season.  Last year we rode at least every other day.  Some warning signs were there but we never expected what could happen.

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She is still here which is awesome  and she has a good testimony for others should she decide to use it in a positive way. Pour into her and walk with her through all the fears and doubts. The Lord is not finished with y'all, there's always a silver lining. 

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Keep in mind also that even though she made the attempt she did have the strength  to pull back, come forward and express that she was so very sorry and told her Mom what she had done. Always a good sign for hope of better days ahead.

I once did renovation work for a young women who hung herself only days after my last visit. I had been doing work for her off  and on for a little more than a year and she was always a spunky lively person. On that last visit I could see something was wrong . She had that look on her face that I could tell something was really  off but could not put a finger on it. It wasn't anger or sadness it was just as though there was a great distance there and now feel had I been more aware I might have realized that look said this is the last time I may see her. That was roughly ten years ago and still to this day I wish I had caught on better and sat down and talked to her. Maybe it would have made a difference and maybe it would not but it still haunts me at times that maybe, I could have made a difference.

Edited by saddlebum
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Prayers for all of you.  Our family had similar experience a few years back with our beautiful, vibrant young niece, who thankfully survived.  With love and strength from family, she is doing well and thriving today.

One thing I observed through her and her parents' journey is that some friends may disappear from your lives.  This was hard for them to accept as they are a very social family.  Mental health issues are so very complex and unique, I believe its because most of us don't know what to do or say and don't want to do or say the 'wrong' thing that might upset your daughter or you.

For whatever its worth, my advice is to continue doing what you've done here.  Reach out for support, keep people updated and show your unconditional love as an example for others to follow.  Don't crawl under a rock because of some perceived stigma of mental health issues.  The truth is almost every single person alive has inner demons and we all just deal with it differently.

You have a long road ahead, but a journey that must be taken so stay strong.  We are all here for you and I firmly believe we can send some strength to you and your daughter through prayer or karma or whatever each of us subscribes to.

 

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Thank you all for the kind words and support.  The fact that she didn’t try to hide it and feels remorse gives us comfort.  We also notice a great deal of mood change for the better now that we’ve taken her off the anti depressants she was prescribed.  They were causing the opposite effect, it’s crazy that “suicidal thoughts and tendencies” is a leading side effect of a medicine that’s supposed to make you not sad.  It’s hard enough for a rational adult to recognize and admit those feelings let alone a teenage girl.

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That's good news.  Incidentally, my niece, had also been on AD's prior to her attempt.  In my niece's case, it was later determined that what she was on was not compatible with her genetic makeup.  Might be something to check into.

 

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