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TES syndrome help


dingy

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Tool Envy Syndrome (TES)

 

Tool Envy Syndrome (TES) is a serious condition that afflicts, in varying degrees, nearly all men who are interested in mechanical things. It is very important to recognize and deal with this condition before it becomes serious; left untreated it can lead to a far more serious condition: Inflammation of the Credit Card (ICC). TES is known to strike under the following circumstances:

 

  • Browsing the latest tool catalogs or sale flyers
  • Visiting stores such as Grizzly or Harbor Freight (Warning: while much less so than in earlier years, the tool department at Sears can still trigger small attacks)
  • Visiting the shop of a friend who has more and/or better tools than you have
  • Surfing the web site of someone with a well-equipped shop
  • Seeing a well-equipped shop in magazines such as Home Shop Machinist

Tool Envy Syndrome tends to strike young men particularly hard, due its close relationship to a similar condition: Gear Acquisition Syndrome (GAS). Over time, in most men, both of these conditions tend to lessen in severity. In fact, it can be shown that gradual accumulation of tools and gear over a period of years can control both conditions while minimizing the risk of Inflammation of the the Credit Card (this is known as the Mature Phase). It has also been widely observed that getting married and having children can moderate the risk; primarily, it is believed, due to counseling from a loving wife and the sobering effect of having lots more bills to pay.

Tool Envy Syndrome cannot be controlled by any known drugs (although its effects can be exaggerated by the use of alcohol). Therefore, treatment is currently limited primarily to counseling methods. The first step is admitting that you have a problem. Here are some additional pointers:

 

  • Avoid situations that are likely to cause an attack
  • When visiting tool stores, leave your credit card at home (Warning: in severely afflicted individuals this can trigger emotional breakdown, fits of crying and other irrational behavior)
  • Meditate on the fine collection of tools that you already have; recognize that time will make it better
  • Find a quiet place. Visualize your ideal shop. Repeat to yourself "It is coming"

I hope you have found this information to be helpful. As a TES/GAS sufferer myself (now in the Mature Phase) I felt compelled to pass it on to you.

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  • Visiting stores such as Grizzly or Harbor Freight (Warning: while much less so than in earlier years, the tool department at Sears can still trigger small attacks)

What is Grizzly? Why don't I know about this? Is there one near Detroit?

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It's a terrible disease that penicillin can't cure. Harbor Freight should be purged from the face of the earth. I still have tools where the price was so good I couldn't pass them up...and they're still sitting in their unopened boxes. I also get bit by old tools... You know, the ones where someone else with the same affliction bought, and never used, and now are in their estate auctions. Boxes of tools that are sitting in dark corners of the garage and forgotten about. Get rid of them??? NEVER!! You never know when you'll need one... if you can find it... and if you can't... it makes perfect sense to go buy a new one... :thumbsup2:

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PSSSST... I have what you need. I'm a tool dealer. I've been pushing tools for years. I started out small at first, as a manager of a small woodworking tool store but after several years I got into the hard stuff when I went to work for a John Deere dealer and now I'm a dept. manager for Lowe's. So come see me, it won't cost much. Just give me your credit cards and I will take to a place of ecstasy. I can keep you in tools and power equipment FOR EVER! BUHAHAHA!!!

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Dingys getting a new milling machine.............

 

It was close but the TES nearly got to my ICC wen I saw such a deal on a new TIG welder last month.

A Miller Dynasty 180 for only $800, with extra consumables.

 

I fear that there may be signs of Mature Stage creeping in since I was able to be reasoned out of it by a stack of medical bills.

 

Once one hits the Mature Stage all that is left is the end.

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Hi! My name's Bongo Bob and I'm a tool junkie...

 

+1

 

and then theres the most famous Iconic quote of em all Bongo - given to us by my hero - Red Green = "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to,, I guess" NOT!!!!

 

It's a terrible disease that penicillin can't cure. Harbor Freight should be purged from the face of the earth. I still have tools where the price was so good I couldn't pass them up...and they're still sitting in their unopened boxes. I also get bit by old tools... You know, the ones where someone else with the same affliction bought, and never used, and now are in their estate auctions. Boxes of tools that are sitting in dark corners of the garage and forgotten about. Get rid of them??? NEVER!! You never know when you'll need one... if you can find it... and if you can't... it makes perfect sense to go buy a new one... :thumbsup2:

 

Be it ever so humble,, sure nuff sounds like home!!!

Only I married this wonderful wonderful wife who spent many many years perfecting the art of couponing - that women saved us more money on clothes/food in raising these 4 youngens it is AMAZING!! Now that they are grown, she has expanded her horizons into supporting my TES (isnt that funny how TES could be an abreviation for testosterone:178:) ... She is HOOKED on Menards and their "freebie" coupon stuff.. Drill bits (my favorite - they got good drill bits and I will NEVER have to sharpen another one as long as I live), wipers, screw driver bit kits, open end wrenches, deck wash, car wash and on and on all brand new,, like owning a hardware store I tell ya - wayyyyyyyyyy cool women that Tippy is!! :backinmyday:

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Hi...my name is Jayceesfolly and I am addicted to HF! :shock3:

 

There, I said it !!! I feel better already! I have taken the first step.........except my left hand is shaking (the one with the CC in it!) and I have broken out in a cold sweat. I can feel it beading up on my forehand. I am beginning to feel light headed and dizzy. I think I better sit down............................

 

Withdrawal symptoms are awful. :confused07:

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Hey, Jeff............what Bongobob didn't show or explain is that that is only ONE WALL in his garage. Do you think that he will show you the other walls??? I think Bob is trying not to show how big his problem is.........

 

 

 

 

Sorry, Bob...had to say it.

 

 

 

 

Jay(just starting rehab)ceesfolly

 

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  • 1 month later...

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