greg_in_london Posted December 27, 2014 Share #1 Posted December 27, 2014 Well it's only been a couple of days, but those awful jokes in Christmas crackers have mercifully faded from the memory fairly quickly. One or two are still lodged in my mind though.... What game do ghosts play at parties ?............................ haunt and seek. What do ducks do before Christmas dinner ? ................... they pull quackers. What do you sing for a snowman on his birthday ?............ freeze a jolly good fellow. What did one snowman say to another ? ......................... can you smell carrots ? Two cannibals were eating a clown, one said ..................... does this smell funny to you ? There are thousands of these blooming jokes and hardly any are funny, but that's the point I suppose - so everyone groans, or pretends to find them funny when the children read them, and no-one gets to sound too clever. Do you have these too ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted December 27, 2014 Share #2 Posted December 27, 2014 I am very happy to say that I have no seen them here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyinfool Posted December 28, 2014 Share #3 Posted December 28, 2014 Must be sumpin from the other side of the pond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yammer Dan Posted December 28, 2014 Share #4 Posted December 28, 2014 How does a Elephant climb a Oak tree? Sits on a acorn and waits for it to grow!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eck Posted December 28, 2014 Share #5 Posted December 28, 2014 Must be sumpin from the other side of the pond. I was thinking the same thing.. Must be in the water ...or in the "drinks".. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg_in_london Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share #6 Posted December 28, 2014 You have Christmas dinner without Christmas crackers ? Next you'll be telling me that you don't have brussel sprouts or pigs in blankets... Or that your Mum doesn't listen to the Queen's speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eck Posted December 28, 2014 Share #7 Posted December 28, 2014 You have Christmas dinner without Christmas crackers ? Next you'll be telling me that you don't have brussel sprouts or pigs in blankets... Or that your Mum doesn't listen to the Queen's speech. Pigs in the blanket are my favorite!!! The Brussel sprouts you can keep.....!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutKast Posted December 31, 2014 Share #8 Posted December 31, 2014 how bout a pic of a christmas cracker? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg_in_london Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share #9 Posted December 31, 2014 I didn't take any pictures of crackers this year - this is one from a newspaper of two kids pulling a cracker. Basically it is a paper or card - covered tube which two people pull from opposite ends. One other other end will tear first and there is a small 'cap' inside which goes bang as the two parts split. Inside there is a paper hat, a small toy, novelty or puzzle and a piece of paper with a joke on. The jokes are always 'clean', but generally pretty rubbish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atoolnut Posted December 31, 2014 Share #10 Posted December 31, 2014 always get them here in canada..get them from wally mart...old english traditon just like christmas pud with custard.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizard765 Posted December 31, 2014 Share #11 Posted December 31, 2014 or roast beef and yorkshire pudding... or maybe steak and kidney pie.. better yet my favourite would be Trifle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutKast Posted January 1, 2015 Share #12 Posted January 1, 2015 ha ha ha. in my mind i pictured a saltine cracker with a piece of paper inside, like a fortune cookie. ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSRIDER10 Posted January 1, 2015 Share #13 Posted January 1, 2015 Cannibals don't eat clowns because...they taste funny. Happy New Year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg_in_london Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share #14 Posted January 1, 2015 You wouldn't be having roast beef and yorkshire pudding or steak and kidney pie for a traditional Christmas dinner - that has to be Roast Turkey (or goose), stuffing, roast potatoes, carrots, parsnips, brussel sprouts - always brussel sprouts - and maybe pigs in blankets and gravy, plus maybe cranberry sauce - nothing too heavy, all followed with cheese and biscuits, mince pies, christmas (or plum) pudding and custard, cream and/or ice cream, washed down with some wine, maybe a beer, possibly a spirit of choice and a coffee at some point. Just a light snack really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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