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Showing results for tags 'wife'.
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It all began with an iPhone... March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't? http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae239/expat97883/OneTimers/onetimers18/iGift/1.jpg I celebrated my birthday in August, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae239/expat97883/OneTimers/onetimers18/iGift/2.jpg My other son's birthday was also in August so I got him an iPod Touch. http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae239/expat97883/OneTimers/onetimers18/iGift/3.jpg My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon. http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae239/expat97883/OneTimers/onetimers18/iGift/4.jpg It was at this moment that the fight started...... What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service. I should be out of the hospital by Monday but Doc says I'll have permanent scars and always walk with a limp!
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A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing. We'll be gone for a long weekend. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so could you please pack enough clothes for a 3 day weekend. And also would you get out my rod and tackle box from the attic? We're leaving at 4:30 pm from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new navy blue silk pajamas..” The wife thought this sounded a bit odd, but, being the good wife, she did exactly what her husband asked. Following the long weekend he came home a little tired, but, otherwise, looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He says, “Yes! Lots of Walleyes, some Bass, and a few Pike.” Then he asked: “But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?” You'll love the answer... The wife replied, "I did. They're in your tackle box". Never, Never, Never try to outsmart a woman!!!
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And I ain't talkin' about the movie. Six months ago a buddy of mine sold his bike because he had constant vertigo. In fact, he recently found out he has Meniere's disease. The fact he had to sell his bike was a hard thing for him to do, and I even kidded him about how big a WUSS he was. A week ago Saturday I woke feeling FINE. I sat down and turned my computer on and my world TURNED UPSIDE DOWN! My vision went black and the room spun so hard I had to hold the desk. It let up a little bit after about 30 seconds, but I was DIZZY and unbalanced the rest of the day. On Sunday it was worse, and I was bouncing off walls down the hallway. Last MondayI slept all day long and finally called my wife and told her I had to go to the doctor (I haven't been to the doctor in a very long time)...and even longer since I had any kind of wellness screen. But, she drove me to the doctor and he explained the possiblities to me. It could be blood pressure, an inner ear infection, loose "rocks" (seriously), and maybe even Meniere's disease! Hestarted me on Steroids, Antibiotics and Valium. My wife took me back home and I began my medications. I called into work the next day (first time in 5 years) and had my wife TAKE ME TO WORK on Wednesday. By Thursday I was well enough to drive myself by car (although that was scary...still not focusing right) and then on Friday...same thing, but driving was a little better. My goal was to RIDE yesterday. I rode approximately 400 feet and then turned around and came home. I was gonna ride today, and while I am better (maybe 90%)...something told me NOT to ride, so I didn't. I do plan on riding this week later in the week. My reason for sharing this story is let everyone know that something "seemingly" so minor can be a major impact on your life. My guess is that many of you that read this will have already experienced this and just not written about it...but if you've ever had this problem, you will NOT forget it. It is NOT unusual for older adults (I'm 55) to have an occasional bout with vertigo (I didn't know this)...but there are treatments for it. I PROMISE I won't ever call anyone a WUSS ever again for not being able to ride. Gettin' old is a BEOTCH!!
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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notice s him and asks him if she can help him.. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife... She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper... So, I figure if I have to roll my own ........... so does she
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My "other" bike is a 1981 Honda Silverwing 500. I put a ton of miles on it every year, and for 5 years have not had a problem. Well now I am having a problem that I am unsure how to fix, or diagnose. Until tonight I have not had any problems with it starting. Now tonight I picked up my wife from work with it and when she got on I hit the button and the lights went out like normal but nothing else. I had to jump the solenoid to get it to start. After that I noticed that the lights seem to get brighter and dimmer, the turn signals work for a minute then just stay on and at the gas station I had to push start it. I do have a new solenoid ordered, but is that the whole problem or just the tip of the iceberg? My wife thinks I am going to retire it once the Venture is up and going. That is not going to happen. I need to figure this out. Everything I checked with my meter has a voltage range from 11.0 volts to 15.1 volts. Right off the alternator it sits constant at 15 volts (ac here). Any help would be appreciated. And I replaced the rectifier about a month ago, the old one just quit. That was obvious as I lost power everywhere. May still be a problem with the new one just wanted to get all info out. Shaun
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After living in the remote wilderness of West Virginia all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How about that! Here's a picture of my Daddy." He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his Daddy, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his Father, so he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed: "So that's the ugly thing he's been running around with." SHHHHHH don't anybody say I posted this!!!!!
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OK, I did it, I jumped ship to the Honda camp. Yesterday I picked up a new 2010 GL1800 and I did so with reservations. I still feel the Venture provides a more comfortable riding position. While I am not as comfortable on the Wing I've ridden about 50 miles on a friends bike and with a few modifications I think I can make it work. Now, why did I make the switch now? First, we've got a 6000 mile trip planned for this summer and my wife suggested that we take a new bike. Don't you just love a wife like that. The only bikes I considered were a new Venture, a Victory Vision, and the Wing. As good as the Venture is I just couldn't bring myself to buy another Venture with the dated design. I found the Vision very comfortable and gave it serious consideration but my wife wasn't comfortable on it. So that wouldn't do. And that left me with the Wing. If anyone cares to know, I got the Wing with CB, rear spoiler with brake light, and fog lights out the door and on the road for $20,560. If someone would have given me any real hope that there would be an updated 2012 Venture I would have probably waited. However, no one could. So I found a nice deal on a new 2010 base GL1800 so I took the leap. If I can't make it work and/or a new Venture arrives in 2012 you may find a slightly used Wing on the market next year. My wife asked me last night how I was going to get along without the cassette deck. Hope you guys will still let me hang around. Dennis
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Think she's trying to tell me something? http://www.bergall.org/temp/venture/marriage.jpg
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A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time! The wife responded, "Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
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A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: July 19, 2010 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
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I do not own a Royal Venture, and.....knowing nothing really about them from experience, I would say that it would not be my first choice as a tourer. The Gl 1800 would fill that bill for me...................But, that being said, I CANT AFFORD A GOLDWING. An 06 with decent miles cost about what I paid new for mine. (16,200) I had an 06 and sold it because of a home improvement loan, and bought a much less expensive Kawasaki VN2000 Classic LT, which I LOVE, but my wife....does not. I like her to ride with me, and she is still spoiled to the Wing. I have found an 08 with less than 10k miles. It is immaculate, but has nothing other than what came stock, for an even $10,000. This is a super deal IMO, but its 500 miles from me. So if I go, I have to buy it based on what I see, or have made a 1000 mile trip for nothing. A brief test ride will not tell me all I need to know, so I am asking for opinions, which granted, will have to be biased, I understand. I am concerned about power. I appears to me that only 1300 cc's for an almost 900 pound bike is reaching a bit. I am concerned about PASSENGER comfort. My Vulcan is very very comfy for me, but not particularly for my wife. I can only assume driver comfort would be great. Does anyone here have experience with both. Thanks
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of Yours?" "Yep!" the wife replied, "In-laws!"
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I read this and thought of members in the Upper Regions this year! MIKE aka Uturn ******************************************************************* DIARY OF A SNOW SHOVELER December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow.. Such a disappointment! My neighbour tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour. December 14 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all. December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20 Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shovelling! Took all day. The dam snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the butthole is lying. December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives that snow plough, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplough. December 25 Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes. December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. My WIFE is driving me crazy!!! December 29 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his BUTT. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted. December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling. January 8 Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
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could some one tell me a good place to order parts like chrome acc for a 2007 venture and also could any one tell what is a good hot weather jacket with good protection pads in it for me and the wife mike
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I found some passenger grab handles from a Venture Royal and was wondering if anyone has tried to make these work on a 97 Royal? Here is the link: http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Yamaha-Venture-Royal-Star-REAR-GRAB-BAR-_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem2eb3250a7bQQitemZ200574044795QQptZMotorcyclesQ5fPartsQ5fAccessories I think my wife would like the Hold On option one in a while..? Thanks, Darrin -
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was > looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not > far off he asked what she'd like to > have for her birthday. > > 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . > > On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big > bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. > What a day! He p ut her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, > the Wall > of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. > > Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was > reeling and her stomach felt upside > down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy > Meal with extra fries and a > chocolate shake. > > Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite > candy, > M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! > > Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed > exhausted. > > > He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well > Dear, what was it like being six > again?' > > Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. > > 'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'
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WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS This one is priceless. A lesson to be learned from Typing the wrong email address!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: July 19, 2010 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
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An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed. "Grandson, I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me." "But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple of bambino. Some day you goina come home and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?"
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The other night I was sound asleep having this great dream. Suddenly the slam of a car door some where outside woke me. I quickly rolled over to my wife woke her up and said, Quick get out of here my wife just got home Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8 PM
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My wife and I were at a wedding. When the priest got to the part were he ask's the bride {{ Do you promise to love, honor and obey for as long as you both shall live ? }} I turned to my wife and whispered in her ear . . . See its the WIFE who is supposed to honor and obey!! Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 AM to 8 PM
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I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in. Yuk Yuk!
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I just finished talking with my friend in Bozeman, Montana He said that since early this morning the snow has been waist high and is still falling.... His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in... :rotf:
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I ride the bike to work most days, but luckily it has been cold here for the past month. Today I was headed West sitting 1/10 of a mile from my house, making a left turn onto my road. I had to wait for a few cars going East, so I could make the turn. A Saturn pulls up behind me and as he's stopping, a Jeep slams into his rear, knocking him into my rear. I was pushed forward a car length or more, and it knocked everything off of my sun visor and all of the pennies out of my ashtray. This was in a Ford F150. I called my wife to tell her I'd be a little late getting home, and when I told her what happened, she said "it's a good thing you weren't riding!". As soon as she said it I thought my knees would buckle. I hadn't thought about it before then. Be careful out there!
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If we (my wife and I) wanted to host a meet and eat at our house what would I need to do other than the obvious. (let everyone know when and were) Any info would be great. Thanks Rick
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One of my best friends passed away suddenly Thursday. He was told only 2 weeks ago that he had lung and brain cancer while being treated for a bad cold at the hospital. The doctor told him that he may have up to a year left but only made 2 weeks. The bummer was no one knew but his wife, he denied anything was wrong and kept saying he hoped the cold would clear up so he could stop coughing. His way of dealing I guess. It was bad to have to say goodbye while he was lying in the casket. Makes one realize just how quick any of us could be gone. He was 73 and only retired 6 months ago. I tried for years to get him to quit so we could do some traveling in our RVs but he always said he would when he got more bills paid off. All I can say is if you can quit and enjoy life do it while you can still enjoy it, I know I am, my house is going on the market this spring and as soon as it sells you will see the wife and I passing you somewhere on the highway while we are visiting all the states. That is my goal anyway. Sorry for the rant but needed to vent a little. Merry Christmas to you all and I hope we all see the new year.
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