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One liners, don't take em personal, but if shoe fits...


dingy

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It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.

 

 

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

 

 

We have enough "youth." How about a fountain of "smart"?

 

 

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

 

 

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party

 

 

When blondes have more fun,do they know it?

 

 

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park.

 

 

Learn from your parents mistake, use birth control.

 

 

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

 

 

Don't Drink and Drive: You might hit a bump and spill something.

 

 

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 

 

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

 

 

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

 

 

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

 

 

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

 

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.

 

 

Alabama state motto: "At least we're not Mississippi"

 

 

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

 

The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population

 

 

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."

 

 

Question: Do you know the real reason politicians work so hard to get re-elected?

Answer: They'd never be able to make a living under the laws they've passed.

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