Tom's passing

[Rich99]

Hello VR members,

Just wanted to pass on a couple of pics, to let you know things went well for Tom E. He will be missed, but I guess the Lord had something for him to do as to why he took him so early. We never think it's going to happen to one of our own, so please drive safe out there, and keep an eye out for the other guy, as this is usually the one that doesn't see us.

[Riderduke]

Rich,
Us on the east coast coulden't be there so thanks for the pictures.
I hope that everything went as easily as possable. My company had a moument of silence this afternoon in honor of Tom.

[Ladyrider]

Tom would have been so impressed.
I loved it, oh how it warmed my heart. Every hug from those riders felt like I was getting one from all of you. They give good hugs. People were dully impressed. Several people mentioned it was the best service they had been to and riders were great.
oh Tom, oh Tom, the guys were there and your children were so proud of their dad.
Love each and every one of you!

[DkKnight]

Sherry,

I was glad I could make it over to be there to honor the memory of Tom. It was a privilege to finally meet you and see your family. I would like to be able to come over for the Memorial Service, but work won't allow it. Know that M and I will be there in spirit and thinking of you and your family.

I am sorry that I missed you in the chat when you came in. Everyone was glad they got the chance to hear from you and to see your sense of humor shine through.

We will be there (it seems that some are there all the time :) ) and waiting to hear from you again.

Be strong and know that your large dysfunctional family with riding and eating disorders will be here to help you along. Don't be afraid to seek out shoulders to lean on, you have about 2500 relatives here, all with 2 to use.

Tom and Melissa

[fixit3546]

Thanks Rich, Did me good to se that.

[Pegstr]

Thanks Rich,
Good to see the pics. I know Tom would be proud and I know Sherry is proud of the service also. Thanks West Coast guys for standing in and representing this group of people. We appreciate it. Sherry, you know we were all with you in our hearts. God bless.

[Rich99]

I thought I'd throw this one more pic in, as this was the riders taking a snack break between setting up the flag line, and escorting Tom to his final resting place. The VentureRiders that are also PGR, and PGR members that joined in the escort. Glenn, a PGR R/C for the Sacramento area, took this picture.

[Ladyrider]

I thought I'd throw this one more pic in, as this was the riders taking a snack break between setting up the flag line, and escorting Tom to his final resting place. The VentureRiders that are also PGR, and PGR members that joined in the escort.
Thats my family. Thank you, boys. I need more hugs next time your passing through town.

[Rich99]

Thats my family. Thank you, boys. I need more hugs next time your passing through town.I'll be in line at the memorial service tomorrow Sherry, nite-nite.:mustache:

[Squidley]

Thanks Rich for the pics :happy34:

Way to represent from all of you, you folks on the left coast do us very proud and I know that Sherry had to feel a bit better that you all were there.

Sherry, many have said it, but I will reiderate it. You have a large support group here, use us if you need us. Be safe and know that Tom is looking down upon you and the family...God Bless all of you :)

[Freebird]

Here are some more pics that were taken by Jack.

[Ladyrider]

It was a wet day, notice God's tears on the ground?
I know my Lord was crying with me, as the rest of you were. Someday, I will see my Tom again, at the tree of life. Thank you all for helping me through each minute till I see this most amazing man I have ever met, again.

[stardbog]

Thanks guys to be there for Tom and Sherry

[Rich99]

The VentureRiders were at Tom's memorial service yesterday to say our final fairwell to Sherry and family members. The service went very well with both memories presented by family members and friends with a little laughter, with all of us, not knowing how funny of a man Tom was, and sorrow as very somber music played with a slide show of pictures with family and friends in passed years. The service ended with the release of doves by the family.

[Squidley]

Thanks for the pics Rich and all that you west coasters did...you make us all very proud :happy34:

[DragonRider]

Thanks to everyone who went to support Sherry and her family, I was touched looking at the pictures, so I can imagine how Sherry and her family felt...........THANKS AGAIN!!

[Tnventurer]

Thank you brothers for standing in for us All!.....Fred

[Ladyrider]

oh Biker family, hold me. I am so tired. so tired. I did pretty good two days in a row till my brother in law brought back Tom's daughter last night. Tom and John were like black and white, peace and war, etc. I have expressed to John my concerns about sueing over this accident and not letting the company at least offer a settlement first. My BIL is VERY controlling. His own two daughters, who live in the same city he does, did not bother to call, or come to either ceremony. He doe not have a good relationship with them.
He started in on me last night about "sueing, taking care of the boys, and Tom's daughters in Texas (the grown married ones) etc" I lost it. I SCREAMED AT HIM, I HAVE LOST MY BEST FRIEND. He ran out the front door and shook his finger at me that he was not going to take that off of me. I apologized. He said I had to be strong and not cry in front of the boys. He made me feel like CRAP. I had told him earlier that I had not been crying much and was going to be talkig to a lawyer next week. He just kept on trying to tell me what I should do. he would not tell me goodbye, and had a yard talk with Tom's daughter while John's wife tried to explalin Johns behavior to me. They left a few minutes later.
Oh Tom, Oh Tom, wrap your arms around me. I will be wise and do right by your boys. Please God, give me the peace and guidance I need. Oh Lord, I am empty....
Thanks for listening you all. I really was doing so well yesterday....this post is hard to follow, but I reread it and can't pull it together...

[Wrongway]

Sherry,
I wish I could have been there for you. This family was with me at the time of my loss and it was a blessing. They helped me through, made me laugh, cry, feel what I didn't want to and just stood by waiting to assist me.

Here is a forum for widows that helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal, and they helped me quite a bit; www.ywbb.org .

Do what YOU feel is right, do not let anyone tell you what you must do. You may wind up regretting it for the rest of your life. You don't have to apologize for your reaction to their bad behavior. Some people just don't get it. Yes I too lost my best friend, partner, lover, confidant, sounding board and all the rest. It is hard for you right now and I know that you think it will never get easier. PM or call me if you need, God Bless You and remember to take care of yourself, there are still people counting on you!

[cliffno350]

There is nothing wrong with crying over your loss, and the boys loss, ever..You have shoulders here to lean on anytime you need or want.

[E-Fishin-C]

Thanks for the pictures

[Gray Ghost]

Sherry,
We all react to grief in our own way. Do not let what someone else thinks as the proper way to do things override what you feel is in the best interest of you and your immediate family. Take your time, pray, and make decisions in your own time. You are not responsible for fulfilling your BIL's wishes, or anyone else's. If you do things their way, even though it doesn't feel right to you, it will not make things any better. Chances are that in their grief they are "striking" out at everything, so nothing will be good enough, and you will feel that you have let yourself down.

Cliff Fargason

[Nighthawk II]

Because of being out of town, I only found out about Tom today. The only thing I can think to do is to prey for strength for Sherry and the family.

[Ruffy]

The pictures made me feel like I was there, honoring Tom. Thanks for posting them.

[Rich99]

I was glad I was able to be able to post pictures as I'm not the best at doing this sort of thing. And I'm also glad I was able to pay my respects and honor a true hero. But being that Tom was an R/N brought up another thing that happen today. I woke up in horrific pain, and called the advice nurse at Kaiser. She said get to the emergency room a.s.a.p. as I was experiencing Kidney Stones. The pain was such, that I got sick in my car on the way to the hospital, and it's a good thing I had an old 20oz cup left over from a fast food place. But when I got into an emergency room, I got a male nurse of which treated me with kid gloves, gave me pain medication that gave me some relief for the first time in two hours, and the first thing that came to my mind was Tom. These men and women do a wonderful job, and when I came back from doing a Cat Scan, he had another emergency, but kept popping in to see how I was doing. Having never experienced this kind of thing before, I was in good hands, and Tom; you guys are the best, thanks. :thumbsup2:

[Venturous]

I spent last Sunday morning in ER with Laura with her having her first kidney stone. I did not know what was wrong with her, but we both were scared.
Sherry, we keep thinking about you and your family. My suggestion on the BIL is to just respond to his suggestions(directions?) with "I will consider that," and just let it go for the time being.
I am not much of a sueing person, but there are times when it is the RIGHT thing to do and I suspect this is one of them.
Good luck,
RandyA

[VTirelli]

Sherry, my only advice to you would be to wait til things even out before making any decision. You are still in shock over this whole thing as are everyone around you. I would refuse to talk to any lawyers or insurance companies for at least 2 more weeks. I don't know what any statute of limitations may be, but it certainly can't be less than 30 days for notices of claim.
Once things have calmed down, sit down with the kids and make a mutual decision, then do what you feel is the best thing for everyone involved.

Hope this helps a little

[Ladyrider]

What the letters Silver Star "BSM PH" mean on Tom's military marker?
Thanks.

[tooldood]

What the letters Silver Star "BSM PH" mean on Tom's military marker?
Thanks.

BSM = Bronze Star Medal
PH = Purple Heart

[cmiles3]

Sherry,
It means Tom is a bona fide hero. He earned the Silver Star Medal, the Bronze Star Medal, and a Purple Heart.

The Silver Star is the third highest medal, awarded for valor (in the face of the enemy).

The Bronze Star is next; awarded for bravery, acts of merit, or meritorious service. If it has a "V" in the medal, it is for bravery.

The Purple Heart is a United States (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States) military decoration (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Awards_and_decorations_of_the_United_States_milita ry) awarded in the name of the President (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/President_of_the_United_States) to those who have been wounded or killed in service. George Washington wanted this to be the highest honor awarded, but times have changed.

What the letters Silver Star "BSM PH" mean on Tom's military marker?
Thanks.

[hipshot]

What the letters Silver Star "BSM PH" mean on Tom's military marker?
Thanks.
sherry it means, that tom was awarded a silver star medal, a bronze star medal , and a purple heart medal, which means he was "wounded in battle"!
just jt

[cecdoo]

sherry it means, that tom was awarded a silver star medal, a bronze star medal , and a purple heart medal, which means he was "wounded in battle"!
just jt


Sounds like he was not only a great husband and friend, but one helluva soldier...... RIP Tom. Craig

[Ladyrider]

tHANKS GUYS! I guess I could have figured it out if I thought about it. It didn't make sense that they spelled out Silver Star and abbreviated the others. The marker looks very nice. There are two. His miilitary and the one with both our names on it. I am so glad he got to see the wall back in 2004. Oh God, I wish I were as brave as him. Life is Hell, my darling Tom, without you.

[SaltyDawg]

Sherry they spelled out Silver Star because the Silver Star is the highest medal he received. I would love to read the award letters to see what he did to earn the medals. It takes something special to get a Silver Star that's for sure. He was a true Hero. I thank him and all Veterans for their service to our country. There are those like Tom who deserve a special thanks because they went over and above the call of duty to protect lives.

Sure wish I could have met Tom. He sounds like a wonderful person.

[Ladyrider]

who/where do I write to for copies of these awards letters?

[cmiles3]

Sherry,
Here's a web page that might give you some information you want. Another good source of info would be the local VFW group; call up or stop by and ask them for help. The first one you talk too might not know, but he'll know who to ask.

http://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records/replacement-medals.html

[Ladyrider]

Thanks! I will write to them at that address. It would be so exciting to see what exactly they said about what he did. Tom was humble and modest. He would not offer to tell his heroic stories, unless I insisted he tell someone.
He was my hero. He was my superman, batman and spider man. (in their street clothes of course)

[Gray Ghost]

Sherri,
the link referenced was for the medals portion which may or may not have the actual citations for the awards. There is another area that will probably be of interest. http://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records/get-service-records.html. As next-of-kin you would be eligible to request a copy of his service record. That would certainly have copies of citations, areas stationed, etc. I obtained a copy of my Dad's after he passed.

The only problem you may run into is that there was a fire in 1973 at the place they were storing records and some were lost to the fire.