The Saddest Day of My Life

[Wrongway]

I thank you all my friends on Venturerider.org. I sit here totally numb right now, I have just lost the love of my life. Debbie passed away during the night. It was totally unexpected. I don't know what to do. I have family with me and that helps, but the loss is already so bad I can't imagine it getting worse. Many of you knew her and she was glad to know you as friends, a couple that deserve special mention are Cinderella, Jane (Boo's wife), Sweet Nothing and Linda Predock. Even if she didn't always keep in touch, she had a special place in her heart for you. I'm sure there are others but I'm kind of spacey right now. I may not respond here but know that I will be harvesting the love and care that you send our way in this time of sadness. Thanks for being here for her and me.

[Sweetnothing]

Allan,
I don't know what to say!! I am soo sorry! She will be missed by all that knew her! She was a wonderful person!

If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know! Let us know of the arrangements, when and where please! Our thaughts and prayers are with you, and your family!

If you need anything please call me 810-531-4243. Even if it's just to talk to someone!

[Black Owl]

Allan.

Words are not enough to express the saddness I feel as I share your sorrow at this time.

[Freebird]

This leaves me absolutely speechless. I truly enjoyed the time that I was able to spend with both of you at Vogel last year. She was truly a special lady. Please know that you and the rest of the family are in our prayers. If there is anything...ANYTHING that we can do for you ... please let us know. My telephone number is in the members list. Call if you need anything.

If you read this, please let us know the arrangements...time...place...etc.

Don

[gibvel]

So sad to hear this news Allan.

God bless you with comfort in this trying time!!

[VentureCruiser]

Allan, very sorry for your loss. Spend lots of time with family and friends, you need them at this time. Our prays and thoughts are with you.

Dale

[eric the red]

Allan,

I never met you or your wife, but you do have my deepest sympathies... I am getting married in 2 months, and could not imagine the pain of losing her. I hope your family can comfort you in this very trying time.

[Yammer Dan]

At a time like this it is hard to say anything that will help. Our prayers are with you. Please know that we are with you.

[Eddie]

Allen , Im very sorry to hear this terrible news. I also had the pleasure of meeting Debbie at Vogel. Allen, I with the rest of your family here , if there is anything I can do to help let me know.
Eddie

[f6ryder]

Our lives,measured against eternity,are just seconds.We don't cry for the loved ones lost,but for the empty space it will leave in our lives.Remember we ALL WILL be together again,and the ride we take will be the best ever.God Bless...:337:

[Cinderella]

allan please check your pm's................


I am in shock..............and without words right now.

[Crash]

Allan, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Our prayers go out to you and your family.

[SaltyDawg]

Alan, it goes without saying that our prayers are with you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. Stay strong!!

[Pegstr]

Allan,
No words will help at this time, but I am in such shock and so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend. It is not an easy road ahead, but keep your faith and God will see you thru it. Keep your family close as they will be your crutch and your strength in the months ahead. I am so sorry that you are going thru this. My heart aches for you. You feel free to call me at anytime. There will be times you need to talk and I will be glad to listen. My number is on your pm. If I do not answer, I will return your call as soon as I get your message. I would like to be a part of your crutch as all of you were mine at my time of loss. It meant so much. I am so glad that I got to meet Debbie at the ride ins. She was so precious and I appreciate the way y'all tucked me under your wing, as I needed someone to lean on. Seriously Allan, give me a call anytime, day or night. I will be there for you. Please let all of us know the arrangements.
Thanks for letting me know and may God comfort you to the best of his ability.
Take care my friend,
Mike
Pegstr

[Boomer]

Alan, thoughts and prayers for you and the family are sent from Tennessee...

[PEIslander]

Allan,

I can't begin to understand your grief and loss at this time but have passed on a prayer for you that God will sustain you through this difficult trial.

[SofaPilot]

Allan,

As others here have said...Keep your faith close to your heart. You will need it to try to make sense of this tragic event. We will keep you and Debbie in our prayers.

Death hides -
But it cannot divide,
Thou art but on
Christ's other side.
Thou with Christ
And Christ with me
And so together
Still are we.

[lateralvibe]

Allen,

So sorry to hear of your loss.Words will not help much at this time, but our thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours today and in the days to come. From across the state, Paul & Gail

[CJVenture]

Allanh,

I have never met you or your dear wife, but at a time like this it really doesn't matter, does it? The important thing is that you know we are brothers, and as your brother my prayers are with you.

I almost lost my wife to cancer ten years ago, so I think I have some sense of how you feel: sort of surreal, like this can't be happening! Thank God my wife survived, but not without giving me a real sense of empathy for people who lose the thing(person) they cherish most.

Please, just know our prayers are with you, and know also that God loves you more than you will ever know.

Charlie

[Cerviperus]

While I've never met either of you, know that thoughts and prayers are headed your way from Illinois.

:2143: :2143: :2143:

[cecdoo]

Allen, I am very sorry to hear this news. Try to think of all the great memories you two made together and how fortunate you were to get the time you had with her. You will be in my thoughts. Take care, Craig

[Al Bates]

Unbelievable, how could this happen. What a shocker. Diane and I enjoyed spending time with you two at Vogel, and was looking forward to more this summer. We are so sad to here this. Allen if you need anything please let us know.

[skidrow]

Somewhere there is a life eternal,
somewhere there is a home above.
There is no night without a dawning,
beyond this death is God and LOVE.

this was a poem by helen steiner rice that was sent to my dad
after my mom passed away years ago...
The last line brought some comfort to us.
I hope it does for you.

[Black Ice]

Our thoughts and deepest sympathies are with you. Like some of the others, we have not met but I cannot imagine what a loss this must be. Be strong.

[kbran]

Allen
Beth and I are just stunned. I am so sorry to hear this. We cherish the visit with all of you in St. Charles and you and Debbie now hold a special place in our hearts. We so enjoyed meeting you and just can't believe this has happend. Everyone says this is family and it's so true that we feel like we have lost a dear member. Our hearts and prayers go out for you and just wish there was something that we could do. We don't always know the why's but there is Someone who does and He alone can give you comfort. I just can't imagine beeing in your place, but know you have freinds who are thinking about you, so just stay strong.

Kenny and Beth

[chabicheka]

Our thoughts and deepest sympathies are with you. Like some of the others, we have not met but I cannot imagine what a loss this must be. Be strong.

ditto.
sorry, pal.

[nance56]

Allan, I too am shocked. Chuck and I really enjoyed all the times that we spent with the two of you. If there is anything that we can do do not hesitate to let us know. Remember that we are all here for you. God bless and keep you and your family now in this great time of sorrow.

[BuddyRich]

Very Sorry to hear this Allen. We will keep you in our prayers.

[Jrichard]

Allan,so sorry to hear of your loss-------My prayers are out for You and family--------------Keep your eye's upon THE LORD anf HE will Bring ya thru----------Jrichard and Patricia

[brscooter]

You are in my thoughts and prayers brother and make me realize how i should appreciate the love and time I have had with my wife. Keep strong. love

[ADC]

Allen, I'm in shock and so sorry for you're loss.I'm glad you have family with you and from reading these posts you have more family here at venturider.org,please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.
Arthur

[Cinderella]

I'm so sorry I had no words earlier...even when we spoke.......now that Ive had time to grasp the impact of this, many things have crossed my mind Allan.
First and foremost I treasured Debbie's friendship...as we had many long conversations about life and and the similarities of situations in her life and mine.
She always had a great big smile, and thrived in being close to you and touching you, as is evident in many pictures of the two of you.
I do not lie when I tell you, this scared me and made me really stop and think about how precious life is and how precious our friends are. And sadly how unprepared we are.
For me, there is always going to be a void in her not being present at gatherings.
My heart aches for you and your family........
and that precious granddaughter she loved so dearly, she beemed when she spoke of her!
I pray that God keeps you strong and helps u thru this dark time, and all others whose lives she has touched and are effected by her passing.

Rest in peace Debbie.........I will miss you.

[mini-muffin]

Cindy put that beautifully. I'm so sorry for your loss and no nothing can be said to make it easier. I have no words as others have said it is a shock. Hang in there and no we are all here for you.

Margaret & Jeff

[Wrongway]

You all are so great. I'm going to treasure your kind words and memories forever. Thanks Al for the extra pictures of her. I was always taking pics of everyone else and don't have nearly enough of the love of my life. I have some info for her services;
Baue Funeral Chapel
3950 West Clay St.
St Charles, Mo. 63301
( I-70 and Cave Springs)
636-946-7811
Visitation Thursday March 1, 5-8pm
Service Friday March 2, 2pm
Funeral Saturday, March 3, 1pm at Rosewood Cemetery in Malden, Mo.

Thanks everyone, you are so very dear to me. I'm truly blessed to have a family as kind and caring as this one here.

[Wolfie]

Allan, I am truly sorry for your loss. I feel blessed to have met Debbie and you in Eureka Springs. We will be praying for you and your family. If there is anything you need don't hesitate to ask.

Lori

[Snarley Bill]

I thank you all my friends on Venturerider.org. I sit here totally numb right now, I have just lost the love of my life. Debbie passed away during the night. It was totally unexpected. I don't know what to do. I have family with me and that helps, but the loss is already so bad I can't imagine it getting worse. Many of you knew her and she was glad to know you as friends, a couple that deserve special mention are Cinderella, Jane (Boo's wife), Sweet Nothing and Linda Predock. Even if she didn't always keep in touch, she had a special place in her heart for you. I'm sure there are others but I'm kind of spacey right now. I may not respond here but know that I will be harvesting the love and care that you send our way in this time of sadness. Thanks for being here for her and me.allan this is totally devistating news. i am sitting here with tears in my eyes along with linda.if there is anything you need please don't hesitate to call us.our prayers are with you . bill and linda

[Carbon_One]

Sad news to hear for sure. I've never meet either of you but still consider you family. Prayers to you and your family in these trying times.
Larry

[Squidley]

My Friend,

My heart aches for you, I like everyone else was totally unprepared to hear the news. I sit here shaking my head and try to comprehend what all is happening.....I cannot do it. I cant imagine what you are feeling besides the obvious.

There is no magical phrase that helps to ease the pain, I have tried many times to find the words. I feel empty, and recall all the times we were able to spend with both of you. I keep those times close to my heart, now more than ever.

Please know that you are loved my friend, as along with your family, there are 2000 brothers and sisters here that will be your crutch. As it has been mentioned if there is ANYTHING AT ALL you need, you call on us and we will be there.

I will leave you with this poem, we love you Brother...your in our prayers

Irish Tombstone Prayer

Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room.

Whatever we were to eachother, that we are still

Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used to.

Laugh as we always laughed together.

Play, Smile, Think of me, Pray for me.

Let my name be the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effort.

Life means all that it ever meant, it is the same as it ever was, there is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well, nothing is past, nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before...Only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be one together with Christ

[stardbog]

I am speachless...Allan So Sorry For Your Loss. Our Prayers Are With Debbie And You

Lina And Dan.

[rosebud]

Allan,

Phil and I are very sorry to hear of Debbie's passing. We were shocked and dismayed to read your posting. We consider ourselves among the lucky ones to have had to pleasure of meeting Debbie and you last fall in KC. She truly was a joy to meet and spend time with. As you struggle to pick up the pieces of your life know that we are here for you, in what ever capacity you need us to be. We are keeping you and Debbie in our prayers.

Diane & Phil

[Marcarl]

I'm just going to sit here and be 'next to' you. My heart aches and my mind is stunned. How brief life can be. Our prayers for you Bro.

[BOO]

Allan,

Jane and I are just in shock. Jane and Debbie seem to really hit it off and Jane was looking forward to seeing her again this summer.

I found a couple of pictures for you also.

Jerry and Jane.

[Squidley]

I found a few more pics for you Bro...Be safe :happy34:

[relic]

Dianne and I are truly thinking of you and your family at this time. The pictures posted here show the love you had for each other as well as the family love from this group.God be with you at this time and we hope to meet you someday. John and Dianne

[WHOOMP]

tho we have never met i feel as tho i know you, thru all of the posts that have came thru here and the pictures... our prayers go out to you and your family... i cant even imagine what it must be like..

[Ruffy]

Allen, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We will keep you and Debbie in our thoughts and prayers.

[hipshot]

I'm just going to sit here and be 'next to' you. My heart aches and my mind is stunned. How brief life can be. Our prayers for you Bro.
same here! we never talked, or saw each other in person, but I DO KNOW YOU!,through pics and posts!
can hardly type through tears .
know that you and the love of your life, are in my prayers, also!
just jt

[Dooder1]

Allen,

Sharon and I are very sorry for your loss.
You and Debbie made us feel right at home at the Eureka Springs Venture -In last year.
It being our first experience with this great
group of people, You and Debbie were great Host's. Our prayers are with you and the rest of the family.

John and Sharon

[mavericksix]

Allan,

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. You will be in our prayers. May God grant you peace and comfort in your walk as you go on. Draw close to Him, and rest in His arms as He will be there to listen.

Semper Fi

[Pegstr]

Here is a pic of Allan and Deb right after I met them at Eureka Springs. Just thought I would share it. They were great hosts at E.S. as I enjoyed their company there, as well as at Vogel. Allan, look to the Lord for strength, and cherish the memories, for she is now your guardian angel sitting beside God in Heaven.

[E-Fishin-C]

I just found out from Squidley...Im totally shocked... I dont know what to say to you.......... my Condolences to you and your Family.

I'll give you a call later

Charlie

[old hippy]

Both Nance and I hope you find peace. we had some good rides with you and Debbie in Eureka Springs and in St. Charles. Just try to remember the good things and times you two had. Peace to you

[parts_god1]

so sorry to hear of your loss,prayers sent






leon

[Wrongway]

I just found Debbie's online obituary. It has a guestbook, please sign if you are so inclined. http://baue.com/_mgxroot/page_10891.html

[saddlebum]

Although I am new to venture riders, and we have never met, I would like to pass on to you my heart felt sorrow for your loss. From the pics I have seen on this site, its obvious that she has left you with some very speacial memories that span the time you had together.Never let go of those, they are her lifes gift to you.

[blackdog]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers!

[Dragracer]

I cannot imagine your loss. God bless you, and prayers are sent from us to you!

[99silver]

Allan,
I'm at a loss for words, I pray that you may find some comfort among us here. My family is keeping you in our prayers.

Gary

[tnbillybob]

What a wonderful outpouring of love, sympathy, concern, shock, and saddness coming your way from forum members and friends. A wonderful tribute to the both of you! More prayers from Tennessee. Howard "Stick" Mumford

[DragonRider]

Allan, I dont know what to say, we are shocked & saddened by your loss. Charlene and I were so glad that Debbie made it to Vogel last year and we finally got to meet her. She was a wonderful lady and we were blessed to meet her. If there is anything we can do please dont hesitate to let us know, remember we are family and we will all miss her.

You and your family will be in our prayers,

Lewis & Charlene

[cobra]

Sorry about your sad news. Are thougths and prayers are with you and your family. God bless.

[Pink]

Allan-

Alex and I are so very sorry for your loss. We met you guys when you both hosted the gathering in Eureka Springs last year. We enjoyed getting to know you both and sharing many laughs and rides.
Our hearts and prayers are with you and your family.
Kathy & Alex

[86er]

My thoughts and prayers are with you Allen. May the Peace and Love of the Lord settle gently into your heart. And know that Debbie lives eternally in your heart and love.

[Swifty]

Our moment together was brief on the road into Helen...and now even for those of us who like words...we are all at a loss during times like this...but none so great as yours. Take care.

[rosebud]

Allan - I went through my pictures from last fall and found these of you and Debbie.

[fixit3546]

Allen, please accept my sincerest condolences. You are in my prayers.

[RSV Angel]

Allan
I just got on and what a shock! I am so sorry for your loss. Patsy and I will keep you and your family in our prayers also. Lean on the Lord during this great sorrow.
Craig & Patsy Long

[RoadKill]

I took awhile to post, because I really do not know what to say. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling. All I can say is that I am praying for you and your family.

[bongobobny]

Allan, we have never met but it doesn't matter as we are all family here. I am very saddened by the news and she was still young. Sometimes things do not make sense but remember that God has a reason and purpose for everything. Just keep trusting in Him and look to Him for comfort and guidance. We serve a loving and merciful God, and I know that is rather hard to focus on right now, but put your complete focus on Him and remember that you will be together again when that time comes.

For now, one day at a time. My heart, and prayers, go out to you

[MILLMAN37]

Alan
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[sarges46]

Wow...that is terrible news! We are so sorry for your loss Allan!

You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. I hope your cherished memories will help you through this time.

[Leeway]

Allen, there are no words to express my sorrow and that that you are experiencing at this time of loss. Although, we only spoke briefly on a few occasions, Debbie possessed an aura that made me, feel comfortable in her presence in knowing there was love present. God is love. Allen you are not alone, in grieving Debbie’s sudden passing. Wayne
if you need anything, we're here for you.

[Skid]

Allen,
I am saddened to hear the news. I can not say anything that hadn't been said. I can not imagine the emptiness you must be feeling. I hope she is with the Lord and hope the Lord will be with you in time to come. You will be in our Thoughts and Prayers this week. I know we are a long ways away, but anything any Member can do for you I'm sure will be taken care of. Its good that you can come to this site and hopefully find some comfort among your friends at VentureRider.org.

[Tom]

Allen,Thank You for putting up the guestbook. I am so sorry for your loss. Debby and I have you and your Family in our prayers.If ever you need to talk,My number is in the members directory.Tom And Debby Hendry

[Yama Mama]

Al,
I am so sorry about the loss of your wife. Ron and I will pray for you and your family.

Peggy & Ron

[Leeway]

I found a few more pictures with Debbie, from Eureke Springs. wayne

[Sleeperhawk's Mechanic]

Allan, George and I are deeply shocked and saddened by your loss. We will always remember Debbie as laughing and smiling. Words simply cannot express the loss of a loved one but only know that Debbie is sitting by our Lord in peace. May God bless you in this time.

[Tommy]

Alan. I am so terribly sorry about your loss. Words are futile at this time, but having lost a close loved one myself I have an idea of what you are feeling.
God bless you and your family.

[BluesLover]

Alan - no words that I might be able to write can express my sympathy and sorrow for what you are going through. Like others have said, find strength in friends and family in this trying time of need ...

God bless.

[Sleeperhawk]

I put these pictures in Photobucket

Thought maybe this would be a good place for everyone to put their pictures in one place for Allan

http://s7.photobucket.com/albums/y262/venturerider/In%20Memory%20of%20Debbie%20Hildebrandt/

[sleepy2]

Allen,My condolences also from another who has never met you but still considered family. I also share the many heart felt wishes for you and family.I hope they help you through this time.

[Mean Dog]

Allen,
I don't know of anything that I could say that hasn't been said. Our Prayers and condolences my friend!

Dog

[Sawhorse]

Allen,My deepest sympathy and prayers for you and your family. May God bless and comfort you in your loss.

[kj4v]

Allen ,we were at Vogle park with Craig and Pat Long on Saturday night and I remember you and your wife being there. May God Bless you and your family in this great time of sorrow....Ken And Joan Veit

[Sailor]

I'm with you. In the past 6 months I have had two friends pass away. Not as rough as what you are going through but it does give me an inkling. It is strange but by coincidence I was recently thinking about what my life would be like if my wife passed away. There would be one hell of a hole in my life. My sympathies are with you. Hang in and survive, she would want you to.

[Acadieman]

I can`t imagine the pain and sorrow you feel at this time.Sometimes it feels like life is not fair but don`t give up."May God Bless you and your Family at this Time

Bucky & Sandra Thompson

[rneal55555]

I am don't really have any words for you that can make it hurt any less. I am sorry for your loss. You're in my prayers.

[EasyRider]

would like to add our comforting prayer to all the others that have gone out to you and your family. What a blessing she has been to you. I can only pray that GOD's next blessing for you will be as great.

[Hagmaster]

I'm deeply sorry for your loss, and pray for you and your family.

[SteveD]

You and your family are in our prayers.

[WHOOMP]

allen has it been determined what happened.. im sorry if this is not an apropriot time for asking or , if i missed it here somewhere.. but most of us are in this particular age span, and it may helpothers..:8:
moderators,, feel free to delete this if it is inappropriate..

[Ken8143]

Allan - I was shocked to hear the sad news, not as shocked as you I am sure. So sorry to hear about the loss of your dear wife.

[Redneck]

Allen I'm so sorry to hear the terrible news. I feel like I have lost an old friend and I am at a loss for words.

[bikerscape]

Sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Dranoel]

I'm sorry to hear of your great loss. My thoughts are with you. -Len

[Leadwolf56]

very sorry for your loss. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

[VTirelli]

Just read this Allan.........we're so very sorry to hear of your loss.

Anything we can do to help...ask

Vin and Sam

[Eck]

Allan,
We just got back from our vacation, and I turned on my computer and this is the first post I have read.

I am at a loss of words .................as everyone here is.

My heart is so saddened my friend on your loss. As anyone here would feel and say, if there is anything I can do, just ask.

God be with you and your family..........

[Ozark]

Allan, we just got the phone call from Pegster. I truly can't express our sorrow upon hearing of your loss. It's really hard to imagine that we have known you for less than a year, but when you get the opportunity to meet and know truly nice people, they make that kind of an impression on you. You and Debbie welcomed us into your lives and established a place in our hearts. I hope you know how much we love you.


Our prayers and love go out to you and the family.

[Red Ryder]

Our heart is out to you. May God Bless you, were all here for you. Later-

[Lone Eagle]

May God be with you during these times. Barbara and I are very sorry to hear of your loss - our thoughts and prayers are for you.

[Freebird]

I just got off the phone with Allan. He is doing OK considering the circumstances. He is pretty devastated as any of us would be but though his grief is heavy..his attitude is good. I hurt for him but I know he will be OK. He truly appreciated the outpouring of love and concern from all of us.

Brad and Lonna, Black Owl and Cinderella made it to the funeral. May have been some others also.

Just so you all know, we did send flowers from the VentureRiders.

[Crash]

Thanks, Don for updating us.

[wild hair 39]

ALLAN,GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOURS,glad i was able to be with you,as were meny others,in your time of sorrow


i am home safe and sound

[Cinderella]

Glad to hear you made it home safely Lowell.........We just got home.........

The service Friday for Debbie was very nice, and I wont lie when I say how hard it was to face that she is gone.

Brad and Lonna went down with Allan to her burial service today and Pegstr was planning to attend also. Wish we could have attended that part also but we had to get back today.

[Deerjunky]

Dear Allen, Prayers for you in these dark and lonely days. Jim

[Gary N.]

Allen,

So sorry to hear this news, my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[Venture90]

Allan, you know that we all feel your loss. I'm glad to be your friend .Call me if you need anything. I am looking forward to some time on the bike with you.

[MamaMo]

Allan just turned on the computer and read the post. So sorry to hear about Debbie. To say I was shocked was and understatement. Was great to get to know you both at Vogel last year. Thoughts and prayers for you and the family.

[kantornado]

We are shocked to of read this and she so young.
Our hearts go out to you and your family...............Ron & Linda

[FROG MAN]

Allan so sorry to hear of your loss. Debbie was a wonderful person and Ramona often spoke about her from Vogel.Life is so short. Draw strength from family,friends,and the Lord. Let the good times and precious memories help sustain you from here. I to have treasures layed up in Heaven and long for that reunion where death will be no more. Our prayers are with you.

[Venturous]

As I read this I am stunned and truely heartbroken for you. Laura and I met you both at Vogal and are so saddened.
Laura has been with some of her family down in lower Alabama for about three weeks(there was a death there also). I have really missed her and tomorrow is out 38th anniversary.
You are in our prayers and I wish you all the strength you will need.
RandyA

[Pyro]

Allen,

Prayers from Nashua, NH are being said.

Your friendship w/ each other & those you came in contact with is as clear to see here as the sky is blue.

If you haven't done so already, give Pegstr a call. He can tell you better than I can of what you have yet to face. I'm sure these days are so very heavy & dark. But that darkness will pass. Your tears are normal. The pain is very real. Don't fight it, but rather... let that pain do the work it has to do. You will emerge from this. When you do, you will have a clearer picture of life & of love than most folks ever do.

Peace,

Joe

[SALTY]

Allan, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We have never met in person and that really doesnt matter. Take comfort in your memories and family.
May our Creator guide through the days and weeks ahead and help you find comfort!

Salty & Margot

[Pyro]

Allan,

How are you doing? If you can, tell us about what you're doing good at & where it still hurts.

As remote as we all may be, we do still think of you & pray that you're doing ok.

As I re-read some of the posts here, I know I'm speaking for more than just myself.

Joe

[nemo_gypsy]

This is the first time I have ever read this post. Man, I'm sooooo sorry to hear of your loss.

I'll have one for you and your ol lady tonight. Bottoms up:(

[Wrongway]

Pyro, thanks for nudging me a little bit.

Today is 8 weeks from Debbie's passing. I've pretty much back into the routine of life. Get up, go to work and come home. Come back to the empty home. The quiet, sad, lifeless, empty home. I miss Debbie so much that the pain is still excruciating. I still cry for her (and my loss) everyday. The good thing is that I don't cry all day and I am able to function at work and put on a good front. Our son who is 24 is bottling every thing up, won't talk about it and thinks he is too strong to need to open up. I worry about him too.
I went out for a long ride this weekend and just kept thinking how much Debbie would have enjoyed it. Kind of takes some of the joy out of it.

I am still planning on going to the Ft. Collins Rally. Debbie had been looking forward to that since September!

I have also planted a "memorial" garden for her here at the house. We put down five rose bushes with some solar lights placed around, her angel statue from the funeral, and another angel that Lonna sent me.

Everybody here has been so wonderful. I'm able to pick up the phone and call anyone whenever I need to "get it out" Still get lots of PM's and emails too. I appreciate everything that has been done. This VR family has shown me nothing but real, no strings attached love.

[Pyro]

Allan,

Thanks for plugging us in again. We all need to see how you are doing & we all need to learn the life lessons you are teaching us. Between you, Missy & Pegstr, this gang of hard ass hearts are being reminded of the tenderness of life because of you.

I'm no shrink. (That's my wife's profession) But between talks I've had with her & my own life experiences (that are only remotely comparable,) I'd guess You probably still have another one or two months of crying everyday. Then it'll be every other day, then sometimes a week will go by before you are reminded of the pain & brought back to the point of tears again.

The lows you feel will slowly not be so low. And the time between them will lengthen as time heals your heart. These lows have a job to do. Let that job happen. You are becoming a better man because of what you are going thru & what you are teaching us with your posts. (Here & on Debbie's memorial site.)

It's called temporary situational depression to a mental health professional, but we all here call it by another name, "genuine love."


Joe



Pyro, thanks for nudging me a little bit.

Today is 8 weeks from Debbie's passing. ......snip......

This VR family has shown me nothing but real, no strings attached love.

[Tnventurer]

Allan , Hang in there brother ,I feel your pain ,It cant be the same but I lost my daughter also . You will think of her everyday ,but it will get easier as time goes by .Now you have an angel to help watch over you.....Fred